Julie looks totally gorgeous, I love how they didn't gross her up for this episode; Chester is staring at a random girl and scarfing food like a freakin' ungulate. Taylor approaches and tells him "the red-haired lady" is in the bathroom and needs his help. "A thong removification!" he says, adorably, and Taylor's like, "... Charming." She tries to get him moving, but he cunningly fellates a grape or an olive or something and invites her along. "Really tempting," she says, but takes the pass. Wait, let's watch that again to make sure we didn't miss anything. Nope. One more time. Yeah, we covered this part. Okay, but just in case... and we're done. He takes off and she has a full-body willies experience. Between not tapping that sweet alternate-self ass and being able to resist the charms of Chris Pratt, I guess she really does love Ryan after all. SUCKA!
Ryan approaches Julie and she does the whole "Do I know you" thing some more, and he -- and I mean you can see it curdling on his tongue as he says it -- lets her know about guy in the master bath who wants to commence removification of the thong. The only thing that would be more awesome is if Julie also invited Ryan to the experience, but what she actually says is actually way funnier: "That's charity talk. Ah, an acronym for The Homeless Of Newport... Go... Or something... " Sandy waves at her and she takes off awkwardly.
Meanwhile, Sandy is telling a bunch of Rich Old White Guys it'll be okay if they don't get caught, and everybody laughs the laugh of Rich Old White Guys on the Make. Taylor approaches with a question, and in a nod to the continuity of Sandy's perennial wrestling with the forces of evil, Sandy says he hopes her question is about the new hospital. But no, it's about relationships. She says they're in a similar situation, because she recently broke up with a guy that won't move on. He is confused and she gives a big old awesome horsy grin about "Mr. Mayor, come on!" She tells him the same lie about how she works at the Newport Group and nothing gets done because Kirsten is moping around and crying about how she loves him, etc., and he gives her the "young lady" speech he gave Ryan earlier, saying this is not at all an appropriate conversation. Which is true. He walks away and inspiration strikes Taylor Townsend like lightning: "Mail truck! Yeah! From the old days at Berkeley! Mail truck! Mail truck! Crazy, huh? Bye." I might be paraphrasing but it's something much like that. She takes off and he smiles despite himself, then makes a variety of thinky faces. The Eyebrows lend their usual assist.