The O.C.
The Chrismukk-huh?

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Give It Up For Short-Term Memory!

Ryan can't believe that Summer is with him, and also: why is Che even in alt-world? Taylor spins some kind of web about how without Ryan there to take his place at Harbor, Che's family moved to Connecticut and he became a hippy. I don't know, whatever. Parallel universe. It would have been funny to have Luke, but since this is actually a made-up coma world from their brains, and not actually a parallel universe, it makes more sense to have people that are part of their current lives. Holly shrieks at Summer that they have to go to Bergdorf's, and Chester says they can go and he'll stick around and "get pumped." He preens and kisses his guns and is very embarrassing; Summer says that pumping him is "[her] job, bitch!" Which makes even less sense. She then loudly congratulates herself and is hilariously trashy and very white-girl faux ghetto about everything. This is precisely why I hate Cameron Diaz. This shit right here. On their way out, Summer loudly calls some guy "bitch!" and Taylor sends Ryan to deal with Sucky Seth while she does recon on Nasty Summer. He asks how they'll get back together and she says that since it's alt-world, they can just find each other. Taylor is very sanguine in the alt-world. I think she is more adaptable to huge faults in time and space because every day is like this for her.

The very worried, but not that worried, Sandy and Kirsten are assured that the kids will wake up soon, and the doctor suggests they surround them with familiar voices and music and smells. Summer volunteers to go find Veronica, which somehow reminds Kirsten of her freakin' ham. Sandy immediately rushes in to take responsibility for the all-important ham, no matter where it's really from, because he is from Brooklyn and knows you shouldn't judge a ham by where it's from, because even a ham from Chino might still have really great abs and you can put it in your pool house with all the other hot young cured meats you've "rescued" over the years. In fact, he says, they should bring the ham and all the other kosher signs of Chrismukkah to the hospital so that the magic of Chrismukkah will wake them up with smells. The fate of the ham is so important, though, that it will take both Cohen men not currently in comas to properly husband it. Kirsten is sad to be away from the ham, but will stay and look after Taylor and Ryan. This episode has a lot of planning in it. People explaining how you will do this thing while I am concomitantly doing this other thing. Like in every scene.

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The O.C.

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