The O.C.
The Cliffhanger

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
Dear Johnny

Ryan hands Marissa a super-giant cup of coffee. He has its twin, saying that he needed some caffeine after being awakened so early this morning. Now they can both do a super-giantly bad job of acting like the empty prop cup is full of hot liquid, hooray! Ryan tells Marissa all about Seth and his problems, which seems to me like a violation of Seth's trust. He thinks Seth should tell Summer about everything except the pot. Marissa disagrees; she thinks Summer should talk about the pot and who supplied it, since it will mean that Summer will bitch-slap Kaitlin and entertain everyone. Now, Marissa whines, Kaitlin will get away with it again. Well then, Marissa, why don't you just bitch-slap her yourself or tell on her to your mother? It's pointless to complain if you aren't willing to do something about it. Oh, and way to make this all about you. Can't we have just ONE storyline that Marissa's doesn't destroy with her presence? And the NewNewport Group one doesn't count because it's boring. Ryan senses Marissa's bitterness toward her sister is about more than just Seth, but she denies it.

Kaitlin is not enjoying her surf lesson. There's too much "surf lesson" and not enough "underaged sex" for her tastes. Also, she suspects that Johnny is distracted by thoughts of Marissa. "Story of my life," she complains. If this whole episode going to consist of the Cooper women bitching and moaning, then I'M going to be the one who throws herself off a cliff. Johnny just says that his situation with Marissa is "complicated," but that there's nothing he can do to change it. Kaitlin says that if that's the case, then she'll just find someone who will. Don't bother talking to the writers, Kaitlin: they're the ones who've made this stupid "Johnny and Marissa have feelings for each other" storyline drag on for the last eight episodes in the first place.

We go to the NewNewport Group, which means it's time to fall asleep. For those who managed to stay awake and care about any of this, Matt prepares Sandy for their upcoming hospital presentation. You see, even though they won the Holodoc over last week, they still have to get the physicians' approval. Sandy makes it clear that this will be accomplished without the use of alcohol or strippers. The physicians are going to be very disappointed. Instead, Sandy wants to find a way to get through to the doctors how important this hospital will be to all those uninsured churro vendors. Matt brags that he has an in with the board of physicians: he knows the head of the board's daughter. "She's a stripper too?!" Sandy asks. I love how Sandy just assumes that Matt's only friends are strippers. Because it's totally true. Except in this case, as it turns out that Matt and the daughter went to college together. Matt notes that she always had a crush on him that he was apparently too cool to take her up on at the time. Maybe he could now, though. Sandy absolutely doesn't want to do business that way, and says so. He seems to think that this will be the first time Matt actually follows Sandy's orders. Keep the dream alive, Sandy. Meanwhile, I just had a dream about the color beige that was more interesting that that scene.

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The O.C.




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