Seth tries to talk to Summer, but shockingly, she's not very receptive to his charms. Jack, the tour guide, starts things off by telling everyone to wear their assigned name badges, so that they can start the tour. You wouldn't think that name badges would be all that important, but they are, simply because Seth the unregistered intruder doesn't have one. He solves that problem by grabbing one off a nearby table. Unfortunately, it says "Kumar," that being that most current pop-culture Indian name. Had this episode come out before Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle, I'm sure Seth's nametag would have been "Apu." Seth explains it away by saying that he is half Jewish and half Indian -- a HinJew. I'm sure there are some jokes I could make at the expense of both religions, but I don't feel like pissing people off today. Lest I be stricken down by a rabbi with eight arms. Jack starts the tour, which neither Summer nor Seth pays any attention to, as Seth keeps trying to talk Summer into letting him explain himself and Summer is busy trying to ignore him like she did back in middle school. If only Seth were actually explaining himself here, instead of promising to explain himself to Summer at some later date, she might actually want to listen to him. Instead, she tells him to leave her alone; Seth already ruined her senior year of high school and she won't let him ruin college for her, too.
Of course, Ryan comes running back home. He says that, in a way, he was expecting something like this to happen, since this was the first time in his life that things seemed to actually be going well. Kirsten points out that the kid may well be Eddie's and not Ryan's, but Ryan doubts that. As do I, since Eric Balfour is currently on some Dick Wolf show that isn't Law & Order. Anyway, Ryan's life sucks so much that I'm sure his sperm would find a way to break through a condom and impregnate a girl if it meant ruining Ryan's life. Kirsten says that, after some "internet research" (i.e. typing Theresa's name into WhitePages.com), she found Theresa's address. Ryan sets off to visit it, Kirsten assuring him that she and Sandy are behind him no matter what happens. They're so behind him, in fact, that Sandy hasn't even been a presence in Ryan's life since, like, the first episode. But anyway.
Seth is with Dr. Oglivy, whose name now definitely seems to be "Overby," given Seth's clear delivery of it. Anna needs to take some enunciating classes to make my life easier. Seth begins his pitch by informing Dr. Overby that he wasn't actually accepted into Brown, due to what he's sure was a clerical error. Guess what? Overby is suddenly a lot less interested in what Seth has to say. Yet he still generously gives Seth one minute of his life to waste. Seth spends about fifteen seconds of it sorting through his note cards to figure out how to compose a new condensed version of his pitch, and finally settles on giving Overby the rundown of his stats: great grades and SAT scores and participation in extracurricular activities such as the Chess Team, which he was "extremely low-profile about," which nicely explains why we've never seen him mention it before. Overby checks his watch. Seth doesn't have anything else to say. Overby thanks Seth for lying to him and wasting his time, and gets up to go. I like Overby, even if he is a stereotypical English-sounding old-guy professor. Seth pulls him back for one last plea: he loves Brown a lot, but there's another reason he wants to go there that has nothing to do with the school (so I'm sure it will appeal to Overby), and it's a girl named Summer Roberts. If Seth doesn't get into Brown to be with her, the rest of his life will be ruined. Although Overby is slightly more sympathetic this time around (and certainly more so than I would be at this point), he still won't admit Seth to Brown. "Please?" Seth whispers, as if Overby is suddenly going to change his mind and admit Seth just because he said the magic word. Seth's super-pathetic act may work on Anna, but it's not getting him into Brown. Overby tells Seth to work his girl problems out himself, because Brown won't do it for him.
Sandy finally comes home and is surprised to find Ryan home early, until Ryan tells him that Kirsten told him about the baby. Like Kirsten, Sandy says he supports Ryan's need to talk to Theresa, and assures him that whatever happens, they'll deal with it together. Although Sandy and Kirsten may not be in the same room with each other. With that, Ryan heads out to Theresaland, and Sandy heads into his bedroom. There he finds Kirsten passive-aggressively making their bed (she's probably tucking the sheets in really tight to make it uncomfortable for Sandy), and asks her why she couldn't have waited for Ryan's weekend to end before telling him about Theresa. Kirsten says, "It just happened," and that it wasn't like Sandy was there to keep her mouth shut, so this is all his fault. Sandy asks Kirsten whether she did this just to punish Sandy for not being around, and while she won't admit that, she will say a lot of stuff about how families and parents are important and Sandy is really sucking at that right now. So, yeah, Kirsten did ruin Ryan's weekend to teach Sandy a lesson. But they don't have time to fight about it now, as Sandy has to get back to the office. How dare he take pride in his evil, evil work!