The O.C.
The Debut

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Joanna: A | Grade It Now!
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Fisticuffs and Wristicuffs

Also on the dance floor, Marissa advises Ryan and Anna to "go ahead and get into waltz position." But quelle horreur! They don't know what waltz position is! Marissa instructs Anna to put her hand on Ryan's shoulder. Marissa then laughs at Anna's attempt, and shoves her aside to take over. And when did she become Johnny Castle? Once she's successfully demonstrated the proper arm position, Marissa tells Ryan to put his right hand on her back. He does, but high up -- almost to the point of her shoulder. She commands him, "Lower!" and he responds with an awkward face, and then slowly slides his hand down her back. It's much more sensual than the triple bra clasp, and not nearly as laughable as the three-hour-long cigarette light, so I guess it's an accomplishment, but I still wouldn't call it chemistry. Anna witnesses their awkward fumblings, and looks knowing because the feisty-yet-sensitive girls with the feisty-yet-sensitive haircuts are nothing if not knowing. Luke approaches with his clone and the blonde girl who served up last week's "margs"; he loudly snits that he'd be jealous right now "if Chino wasn't gay." Marissa makes scolding noises, but Luke insists that it doesn't bother him, because Ryan was born that way. Ryan thanks Marissa, claiming he can take it from here. She heads over to placate Luke as Anna whistles, "You're into her, huh?" She tells him he's in trouble. Then, she wants to dance. Anna, by the way, is a cross between Chloe from Smallville, Watts from Some Kind of Wonderful, and a giant, shiny zit. ["And Emily Valentine from 90210, I would add." -- Wing Chun]

We pan over to Marissa and Luke, the latter of whom has just donned his jacket. Marissa proprietarily fixes his collar and brushes off his dandruff. Puberty Lady announces that she will review the classic waltz step with Philip. We don't know who Philip is, but we're obviously supposed to think that he's gay. Luke whines that "that kid" is stalking Marissa, and she insists that Ryan's not stalking her -- he's her neighbor! And, she adds, Ryan's not going anywhere, so Luke will have to get used to him. What he won't get used to, Luke says, is "that kid macking on [her] every time [Luke turns his] back." Marissa asks whether Luke doesn't trust her, and Luke claims that he doesn't trust anyone else -- especially not around Marissa. They consummate the healthiness of their relationship -- he, acting like an asshole out of jealousy; she, accepting of the fact that he's an asshole because she's flattered that it's spawned by jealousy -- with a kiss.

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The O.C.

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