It's a beautiful day in Orange County, as the opening shots of the beach and ocean tell us. People are surfing in the clear water. Johnny gets to watch them from the Ryan Rover. You see, Seth, Ryan, and Marissa are driving Johnny home from the hospital, as opposed to his mother, who I'm starting to think doesn't exist. Hey, what hospital wouldn't discharge a minor patient to three other minors, right? Marissa exposits that, with Chili mysteriously "out of town" (you know how those high-school seniors with no money love to go on vacation!) and Johnny's mother at work (I'm guessing at one of those evil nineteenth-century pre-Union factories that made employees work all the time and wouldn't give anyone time off to pick her freaking son up from the hospital COME ON NOW!), they're all Johnny has. That should really make him feel better. Johnny says he would have been fine taking the bus, and Ryan comments that they haven't had much luck with buses, which doesn't make any sense unless I missed the episode where someone got hit by one. They finally see Johnny's home, and he's all ashamed of the place, even though it's perfectly fine. "The infinity pool's in the back," he jokes. Seth tells him not to "worry," since Ryan grew up in the dark pits of Hell, a.k.a. Chino, so they're used to places like this. Johnny exits the car, claiming that he doesn't need anyone's help in getting into the house and doesn't want to make them late for school. I have to say, the way those kids can get so much done in the early morning never ceases to amaze me. I could barely manage to get to my locker before school started, and here they are picking people up from the hospital and having breakfast at the diner and moving and everything! I would like to know what hospital discharges its patients in the wee early morning hours, though, and what health insurance company would have paid for Johnny to stay there that night if he was healthy enough to leave in the morning. Johnny crutches out of the car and falls all over himself trying to get up the walkway stairs. "I can't watch this," Seth says, his finger always on the pulse of the viewing audience. Marissa the Selfless Hero volunteers to stay behind to help Johnny. Ryan pretends he's okay with that.
Kirsten and Julie try to figure out what their new business venture will be. Kirsten thinks that Newport is lacking a bookstore, like anyone there ever reads. Julie's idea is slightly different: a nude maid service. "Who wants to see their maids nude?" Kirsten stupidly asks. I guess she's never been on CraigsList before; that place is full of ads for young, attractive woman to do "lite cleaning" while topless. Emails without full-body photos will be ignored. No fatties, pleez! Sandy walks in and says he'd love a nude maid, as long as she irons his shirts the right way. Between that and the time Kirsten asked for sex and got coffee instead, I'm starting to think Sandy doesn't have much of a sex drive. No wonder he and Kirsten only have one biological kid. Sandy tells the girls that the NewNewport Group is gearing up to meet with some investors about a new low-excitement boring project. Sorry, I mean, "low-income housing project." Also, yawn. Julie snottily declares that she's not in favor of this low-income housing one bit. "You live in a trailer park," Kirsten says. Mean, but she does have a point. Julie says that living uncomfortably makes her highly motivated to get rich again, so it's good that poor people live in crappy places because it'll give them something to aspire to and work for. Because Julie worked so hard, what with the being lucky enough to have a rich friend who wants to go into business with her and attractive enough to marry into money. Sandy, who actually did work hard to improve his fortunes, leaves disgustedly, and the girls go back to business strategizing. Kirsten has a brilliant idea: they can be party planners. ["Oh, Jesus. GET A NEW IDEA, SHOW!" -- Wing Chun] They both know how to do it, and know that they can do it together successfully. Indeed, that fundraiser was a great success...if you ignore the fact that it was a giant scam that Julie managed to derail at the last second. I guess we are ignoring that, though, as Julie says she's in, and she and Kirsten share a toast to assured success.