We're back at the strip club, where the dancers sport full-length dresses and turtleneck shirts and the men couldn't be more titillated! Sandy and Ryan enter and find Matt with Lilly the Stripper. Sandy's super-pissed. "I'm so sorry," Matt starts, like that could undo any of the damage he's already done. Just give up, dude. You're screwed. Sandy says he would have been okay with Matt's not being prepared for the meeting, and maybe even with the fact that the reason why he was unprepared was because he spent the evening at a strip club that he also brought Sandy's teenage son to, but what really boils his lobster is the fact that Matt lied to his face. You guys, Sandy is not a very good father. He really, really isn't. I love him, but come on. He should be more upset about Matt taking Ryan to the strip club and buying him a freaking lapdance than he is about being lied to. "You're fired," Sandy says. Ryan objects, apparently thinking that he lives in Bizarro World, where telling your dad/boss that the guy you're interning with took you to a strip club would have gotten Matt a promotion. Sandy cuts Ryan off with a "don't think you don't have anything to be sorry about." In the future, Sandy, please limit your parental attempts to talking about pirate wars.
Johnny's all doped up on painkillers. Marissa runs around his house, trying to assemble a makeshift ice pack for him. Where the hell is Johnny's mother? It's Sunday and it's daytime -- she can't possibly be at work. Sadly, however, she's still a better parent than most of the people on this show. "You know, Marissa, you're really making this hard," Johnny slurs. "Making what hard?" Marissa asks. I've run out of things to say about how goddamn oblivious she is. I mean, "making this hard"?!?!? What the hell else do you NEED?! Apparently, Marissa needs it spelled out for her, so Johnny tells her "the truth": "I really like you." "Okay, I really like you too!" Marissa says. Seriously, how does her skull stay together and not collapse into the giant empty cavity where her brain is supposed to be? How does someone this stupid even remember to put pants on in the morning?! Maybe this explains why she never wears a bra -- she's too stupid to figure out how to put it on. "I mean, I like you, like you. I think I'm in love with you," Johnny explains. We cut to a commercial, blessedly sparing us from seeing the next three hours of this scene where Johnny has to explain to Marissa what, exactly, he meant by that.