The O.C.
The Disconnect

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Summer Stole Everyone's IQ Points

Obviously, we're going to cut to Ryan getting a lapdance to Billy Squire's ridiculous hit single "The Stroke." Sipowicz is going to town with the dry-humping. Ryan is uncomfortable. His phone rings, and he's happy for the distraction, until Sipowicz volunteers to get his cell phone out of his pocket for him. Ryan makes a variety of facial expressions and loses the power of speech as Sipowicz digs around his pants for the phone. Best acting Ben McKenzie has ever done. She pulls the phone out, but won't let him answer it.

Marissa leaves a message on Ryan's phone, asking him where he is. "It's getting kinda late," she says. Wow, Ryan is going to be in big trouble when he gets the bill for all those lap dances. Matt only paid for one, and apparently, Ryan's been having them for hours. And even that is more interesting to me than is Marissa, and I truly do find strippers very boring. Not as boring as Ryan seems to find them, though. Marissa hangs up and lies back on the couch, where Johnny is asleep. She puts a blanket over him. Johnny's head slumps on her shoulder. She gently pushes it off and tries to watch the movie -- Rebel Without A Cause. Johnny's head falls back onto Marissa's shoulder. If he can't stay awake during these boring-ass "Marissa and Johnny are friends BUT ARE THEY SOMETHING MORE?" scenes, then I don't know how I can be expected to.

Back at the strip club, Sipowicz has moved on to a customer who will appreciate her combination pocket massage and cell-phone-retrieval services. Ryan checks his watch, and then goes outside to call Marissa.

Cut to Johnny's house, where the TV has gone static after the Ghosts of Everyone Associated With Rebel Without A Cause came back from the dead to stop their superior product from having any more affiliation with this show. The music is ominous as Marissa's phone rings and rings. The camera pans over to where, judging by the setup, you'd expect to see Marissa and Johnny making out. But they're just sleeping on the couch. Actually, I don't know if Johnny's asleep. He could be dead after impaling his skull on the sharp, bony protrusion that is Marissa's shoulder. I'd hope for that, but then I know we'd all be subjected to fifteen subsequent episodes dealing with Marissa's trauma over accidentally killing her friend. We watch Johnny and Marissa sleep for a few minutes so that I can fully absorb the irony here of Marissa and Johnny, who usually put me to sleep, having been put to sleep themselves after watching someone else's teen melodrama. Also, zzzzzzzz.

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The O.C.

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