The O.C.
The Dream Lover

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 3 USERS: B
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Clap Your Hands Say "Enh"

Summer stops by The Pav to talk to Ryan during another one of his endless shifts. They exchange their customary last-name greeting and Ryan recommends the "Macho Nacho Supreme" to Summer, which is sounds like a combination of the best menu items at Taco Bell and Del Taco. Which means it's either really, really good or really, really bad. Either way, it'll leave you feeling some weird Seth vibes afterwards. Summer asks Ryan how Seth is, saying that she hasn't heard from him since she broke off their engagement last week. Ryan feigns ignorance of this and says Seth's had pinkeye all week. Nice try, Ryan, but pinkeye doesn't make you unable to speak. Ryan says he was too busy helping Seth recover from his pinkeye to talk to Taylor. For those of you who don't know what pinkeye is, it's like the winning lottery ticket in elementary school. If you get pinkeye, you get to stay home from school and you don't even feel sick so you can enjoy the entire day. ["Unless you get pinkeye in the summer, not like that happened to me or that I'm at all bitter." -- Joe R] You take antibiotics and it clears up in no time. So much better than head lice, which requires all kinds of shampoos and the thought of bugs planting their eggs in your scalp. Ryan says he was also waiting for Henri-Michel to leave town to talk to Taylor, and Summer breaks the news that Henri will not be leaving town any time soon.

Seth stops by the Roberts Mansion to see Summer, but only finds Bright there, practicing Tai Chi. He offers Seth a fig -- "nature's biological response modifier" -- and asks him about the spiritual ills he can sense in Seth's aura. Bright tells Seth that he has been "emasculated" since Summer turned him down. Oh, please. In that relationship, Seth is constantly being emasculated and he seems to like it. But now Seth insists, with nostrils flared, that his masculinity is just fine, thanks for asking. Summer enters the room and is pleased to see that Seth's pinkeye has cleared up. Seth bluffs his way through it and then is ordered to go on a date with Summer. Seth exchanges high-fives with everyone in the room in the most masculine way he possibly can and leaves. Bright says Seth appears to be doing just fine, but Summer tells him not to leave town yet. Damn.

Henri and Taylor have a meal and look at plans for the house Henri wants to rent for them. How is mooching off of Henri okay but mooching off of Summer isn't? At least Summer knows where she stands with you, Taylor. Poor Henri is heading for a broken heart. Taylor says there are plenty of closets, to which Henri wonders why Americans are so obsessed with closets. "Is it a capitalist conspiracy to hide what you own so you can buy more?" he asks. What a philosopher. Is he supposed to be communist Russian now? Because last time I checked, France was just as capitalist as America and, in fact, had been since before America even existed. And loved clothes. In fact, France's interest in the New World was purely capitalist, as they saw all the furs they could trap there to export back to France to make fashionable clothes and accessories. Whatever. Henri says he will do "whatever it takes" to win back Taylor's love that he never really had in the first place. Taylor encourages him in this goal, but also brings up Ryan, who she still hasn't heard from and has given up on. She leads Henri on, saying it's good he came back into her life before she and Ryan got really serious. He tells her, in French, that he loves her. She certainly loves hearing it.

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The O.C.

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