The O.C.
The Dream Lover

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | 3 USERS: B
Clap Your Hands Say "Enh"

During what appears to be the next day, Seth is poked awake by Bright, who orders him to gather rocks. Seth says he hasn't slept or eaten, but Bright says that's all a part of the process. I think that's the process of dying.

Kirsten watches Julie and some man-whore-loving woman hug good-bye and part on suspiciously friendly terms. Julie says the woman just took the news about possibly getting the clap well, but Kirsten's not so sure. She marches up to her and whispers the truth in Fiona's ear. Whoa, boy, is Fiona pissed! Even though Kirsten says Julie will pay for all of her medical costs (with what money?), Fiona angrily asks them "what kind of unclean operation" they're running. I believe it's an escort service, Fiona. Where you pay hot young guys to have sex with you. What did you expect? "You'll be hearing from my lawyer!" she says. Ha! I'd love to see that! That's like complaining to the police that the weed your dealer sold you is all stems. Julie swears to Kirsten that she'll tell the next woman for real. Or they could get manicures! I don't think Kirsten wants a manicure.

Taylor invites herself into Summer's bedroom to ask her what a bunch of famous traitors all have in common with Summer. "We all did what we thought was right," Summer immediately responds. Taylor's not having it, but Summer turns the conversation back to herself and the good works she's decided to do for animals with the non-profit organization she's starting up. Taylor turns it right back around, though, saying that speaking of animals, Ryan bought her a gross teddy bear from Quik-E-Mart. Summer's reaction isn't quite what she expected, though. Instead of sharing her disgust, Summer is shocked that Ryan got Taylor something. She says he's never done anything "so sweet" in all the time she's known him. An "I've made a big mistake" expression crosses Taylor's face as Summer continues that the bear was probably "the nicest gift" Ryan has ever given. What about that necklace Marissa threw in a drawer? No one appreciates Ryan. Someone should give him a bear with a "you're appreciated!" balloon. Taylor runs off.

Welcome to the show, Sandy! Good to see you, even though over a half hour had to pass first. Ryan pulls up to the beach parking lot right beside Sandy, who's just putting his surfboard away after a long morning of pretending to surf. Ryan tells Sandy about his latest romantic woes, and what is going on with the camera right now? They keep cutting to one-shots of Sandy and Ryan who are a little too close to the camera, which circles around them and moves towards and away from their faces at random. Do we really need to get artsy in the middle of a TV show? Stop this. Anyway, Ryan tells Sandy that he can't compete with Henri as he tells Taylor he loves her and writes poems and books to that effect. Ryan doesn't know if he loves Taylor, but he does think being with her is like "being on a rollercoaster." Which doesn't exactly sound great, but Sandy urges Ryan to tell Taylor how he feels. "Do something!" he says. I think Sandy needs to turn around and tell this whole episode to fucking do something, too. Is it over yet?

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The O.C.




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