The O.C.
The Escape

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Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Previously on The O.C., Holly's dad beat up Marissa's dad at her debutante ball, and Luke thought Marissa couldn't blame Holly for that. Kirsten knew Jimmy, which Lady Heather knew because he still had their prom photo up on their wall. Lady Heather also knew she wanted a divorce. Luke never should have broken up with Marissa in the first place. Ryan said she should let him know when she made up her mind. Summer thought "Chino didn't stand a chance." Then, she kissed Seth. Gabrielle kissed Ryan, and Marissa walked in on them together. She then gave it up to Luke and his giant, grubby paws out of confusion and/or spite. Marissa told Ryan he was too late to devirginize her.

Ryan stomps into the kitchen of The Big House, followed by Seth, who is insisting that the "plan is undeniable." Seth can't seem to learn his lesson about undeniable plans what with the burning of a house, the destruction of the Range Rover, and the time Luke got shot and all. An exasperated Ryan responds, "I'm denying it." Seth explains that they have his mother's Range Rover; they have a perfect alibi because he goes to the same comic-book convention every year; and they also have the credit Seth's built up by never doing anything wrong, which lulls his parents into a "false sense of trust." Ryan takes a box of Cap'n Crunch from the pantry and asks why Seth would want to throw all that away "for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots." Seth pauses, blinks, and considers the visual; he then recovers, apologizing because he thought it was a rhetorical question. He emphatically insists, "Yes, Ryan. Yes." He explains that, on the last weekend before school, "one goes to Tijuana; it is tradition, and it is a rite of passage." Unless one goes every year, in which case it's more like a series of rites of passages, and that is somewhat less significant. Seth dramatically adds that "what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico." Ryan asks what exactly happens in Mexico; Seth doesn't know because it stays there, which is why they should go. Ryan is unsure about lying to the Cohens; Seth volunteers to lie for him. Ryan wonders why they can't just go to "Comic-Con," and Seth responds that Comic-Con is "basically a bunch of pathetic virgins ogling some porn star dressed as Catwoman." Ryan snarks, "Thought you went every year?" Seth shakes off the snark, and instead claims that since Tijuana is a big town, Ryan probably won't even see Marissa. Ryan insists that he doesn't "care about seeing Marissa. Or...not seeing Marissa." Seth concludes that "therefore [Ryan] should have no problem coming to Mexico," which is faulty reasoning, considering Ryan just said he didn't care about Marissa, but did care about other factors, like lying to Sandy and Kirsten. Still, Seth's right, as Ryan points out that Marissa will be hanging out with Summer. Seth thinks Marissa will "probably be shacked up with Luke," and then, as Ryan stares him down, apologizes and admits "that's probably a bit painful."

Sandy eagerly enters the room, asking if they're "all excited" about Comic-Con? He tells Ryan that Seth's been going since he was ten and that "it's the highlight of his year." Seth sarcastically thanks Sandy, claiming, "Highlight's a bit overstated." He notices his dad's suit and the fact that his hair is almost brushed and enthuses, "Big pimpin'!" Sandy explains that he has a meeting with a private law firm. Ryan asks whether he's suing one of their clients. The giant lemon and lime arrangement makes its second appearance, giving it as much face time as Caitlyn has had so far. No one's complaining. Sandy clarifies that he has a job interview. Kirsten enters the kitchen and adds, "Which he'll never take." Kirsten claims that the law firms like to flatter Sandy every once in a while, and Sandy jokes that he goes for the "free meal." Ryan is anxious about this revelation, asking whether Sandy will still be a public defender. Kirsten insists that there's no way Sandy will sell out after fifteen years, and Sandy backs her up by saying it "would have to be one hell of a free meal." Seth says, "And that's what they call a callback in comedy, Ryan." Sandy asks when the boys are leaving on their trip, and Seth pauses before turning to Ryan: "I don't know. How soon?" Ryan, cornered, slowly looks up from his Cap'n Crunch as Seth watches him hopefully. Ryan responds, "Tomorrow," and Seth's all, "Hmmm. Don't you mean "mañana?" That's "tomorrow" in Spanish. I'm bilingual that way.

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The O.C.

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