Cut to Taylor pacing around the Poolhouse as she tells Ryan all about the new "sexual epic" she's starring in. It's been banned in Texas, she says. Big deal. What book hasn't been banned in Texas? Besides the Bible. "Your ex-husband wrote this about you," Ryan says, just now catching on. Taylor explains that it's not a memoir, it's a novel. "There's a big difference. Ask James Frey," she says. I thought James Frey would be the last person to know the difference there, but I guess Taylor has hope that he learned his lesson. Taylor asks Ryan not to read the book. He says he hasn't read a romance novel before and he's not going to start. Taylor is relieved, but at the same time... I don't think he would've read that book or even known about its existence if you hadn't told him, Taylor. And if he had, he probably wouldn't have even guessed it was about you. Now he does. Way to go. Ryan jokes that he might see the movie version, but Taylor says they'd have to make a porno. Now Ryan's more interested in that book than ever.

Julie's going over possible gigolos for a client with Spencer BULLET when Kirsten strolls in and the conversation must end. Kirsten comes bearing coffees, because I'm pretty sure that's all she does at NewMatch. Julie kicks Spencer out and hides the gigolo pictures in an accounting book where she's sure Kirsten will never see them since it isn't a coffee menu. Julie claims that Spencer was just there to help her move furniture, which Kirsten finds a little strange since no furniture has actually been moved. Julie must have a really low opinion of Kirsten's intelligence to have tried that excuse.

Summer continues to pretend she's getting married and is reading through a bridal magazine when Taylor walks in. She's resigned herself to getting married since Seth is talking to her father, and I enjoyed this little storyline last week because Seth and Summer were cute and funny together, but this week they aren't together and I'm sick of it. This is stupid. Since Taylor's own marriage disaster isn't enough to convince Summer that this is a mistake, she suggests that Summer contact former classmate Holly, the symbol of all that is wrong with people in Newport. Holly is married now, and I'm not sure how getting married out of high school is supposed to be some big status symbol for the upwardly mobile. It smacks of trailer parks, accidental pregnancies, and divorce to me, but I guess someone like Holly doesn't have enough depth to really need to spend much time finding out who she is before deciding to spend her life with someone else. Summer sees a copy of A Season for Peaches in Taylor's bag and says she's been reading that book even though it only just came into town and looks boring. "This is dirty," Summer says. Taylor protests that the lead girl just has a "healthy sex drive." "Yeah, for a hooker," Summer laughs. Taylor gets all offended and grabs the book away from Summer, saying as she exits the room "she was just young and confused, okay?" Hee hee hee.