Everybody screws everything up this week, as Henri-Michel finally makes an appearance in town after a fictional book based on his time with Taylor Townsend burns up the French bestseller charts and gets an English printing. It's amazing what you can accomplish in, like, three months. Ryan meets Henri and realizes that Henri and Taylor have a lot of boring French intellectualism stuff in common, and he feels left out. But then Sandy tells him that you don't have to have everything in common with someone for a relationship to work, and Ryan thinks about getting back with Taylor, but doesn't actually act on it. Lame, Ryan.
Meanwhile, Summer hangs out with some old classmates-turned-Newpsieweds and apparently drinks an absinthe/champagne cocktail, because girl was hallucinating. Seth goes to Seattle to ask Dr. Neil for Summer's hand in marriage and make fun of Grey's Anatomy. But when Dr. Neil says no, Seth realizes that he really does want to marry Summer sometime in the distant future. He tells Summer this, but she's gone all weird from the hallucinations and gives Seth his ring back while she goes off to find herself. Kaitlin hangs out with ChrisBrown until he Just Says No when she offers him weed. Kirsten does a little undercover work to finally wise up to the fact that Julie's running a prostitution ring under her nose. Despite Julie's claims that she became a madam by accident, Kirsten kicks her out of NewMatch.
Taylor Townsend and Ryan walk out of El Pavo Guapo, and I refuse to keep spelling out the entire name of that place. I'm calling it "The Pav" from now on. Okay. Anyway, Ryan's just on his break, since he never actually gets to leave work ever, but Taylor Townsend stopped by to give him a Valentine's Day present even though the it's three weeks away. Bad move, Taylor Townsend. You guys haven't been dating long enough for you even to assume you'll be exchanging gifts on V-day, let alone exchanging them three weeks early. Let alone the gift you gave Ryan, which is a homemade scrapbook of pictures she took of Ryan when he wasn't looking. That's creepy, Taylor. "I had no idea I was under surveillance," Ryan says, hinting that Taylor might want to back on off. But she just says she's "clocking" his "every move." Taylor does worry that it might be "too much" after a while, but then is distracted by a display in the nearby bookstore window and leaves Ryan to check it out. And what it is is a display for a book called A Season For Peaches written by one Henri-Michel de Momourant, who we're supposed to remember is Taylor's ex-husband. And there are a lot of copies for sale.
Taylor rushes into the bookstore and asks a worker what the deal is with this book. He says it's a English translation of the latest French bestseller and is "The Bridges of Madison County meets The Notebook meets porn." That book could not possibly appeal to anyone. Except, apparently, all of France. Anyway, it's obvious that this fictional novel is based on Taylor and Henri-Michel's time together. I'm guessing there's only one page of print and the rest of the book is blank, because they were only together for, like, three seconds. That would also explain how Henri-Michel had time to write the whole thing, get it published, and then hit the French bestseller lists and have enough of an impact to warrant an English printing in just three and a half months.
The next morning at the Poolhouse, Ryan hands Seth a neck pillow to use on flight to Seattle. Ryan needs look into wearing something different. I'm sure it's great for the wardrobe department to only have to buy him tight black T-shirts, but this is getting ridiculous. I know it's The Pav's uniform, but you'd think there'd be some variety. A long sleeve shirt once in a while never killed anyone. Anyway, Seth's plan for Dr. Neil in Seattle is to get him to reject Seth's proposal and then Seth gets off scot-free. Since if your father says you can't marry a guy, then you can't. Even if you're an adult. Because we all live in medieval England now. Sigh. All Seth has to do is remind Dr. Neil that he's that "skinny sixteen-year-old boy trying to seduce his daughter." With that, Seth takes off and Taylor Townsend just waltzes on into the Cohen's kitchen. She needs to talk.