Down at The Pav, Ryan bristles when he sees a male customer reading A Season for Peaches at the bar. Yeah, right. What guy would be caught dead reading that book? Guys don't need to read "erotic fiction." They have actual porn for that. Men have porn and women have romance novels. This book is both, and therefore appeals to neither. Sandy plops down next to the guy even though there's plenty of room at the bar (I guess Sandy likes invading personal space unnecessarily) and immediately orders shrimp tacos. Hilariously, Louis the Chef knows that it must be "SeÃ±or Cohen's" order, probably since no one else eats the shrimp tacos. Sandy sees the book in the guy's hands and says that Kirsten is reading it, too. Sandy and the guy start comparing notes about "page 47" and how hot it is until Ryan informs them that the book is about Taylor, which I'm sure Taylor would rather people didn't know. Then again, she's been telling everyone about it so maybe not. Anyway, I'll bet Sandy won't be able to look at Taylor the same way again during family dinners.
ChrisBrown tutors Kaitlin on American history for some reason. Kaitlin has learned a lot about women's suffrage, but also points out that some of the women who led the movement are fat and not very attractive. This from someone whose contribution to society thus far has been to steal clothes meant for Darfur refugees. ChrisBrown quizzes Kaitlin on the material and she passes, which is easy since the book is open in front of her and she's totally looking at it. Anyway, she's really impressed with herself and grateful to ChrisBrown for his help. So much so that she asks him out. "You axing me out?" ChrisBrown asks. Dude, seriously. Learn to speak. You know how to sing, right? This is like that, except without notes. Jesus. "Axing." Why not also mention that the school "liberry" will be closed in "Febooary?" Doesn't this show have people on the set to make sure the actors speak clearly and pronounce things halfway right? ChrisBrown "axepts" Kaitlin's invitation to hang out at her house tomorrow night. He leaves and the Wards enter. They call ChrisBrown "the professor of Dorkonomics" and say he should teach "Dorkology 101." Ha! Go Wards! Kaitlin says ChrisBrown isn't a dork, but they have proof to back up their statements: ChrisBrown is smart and doesn't play water polo. In my school, playing water polo didn't make you all that cool. Of course, we didn't have a pool, either, so maybe it's different at Harbor. The Wards make fun of Kaitlin for liking ChrisBrown and then start going on about how greasy Elizabeth Cady Stanton's hair looks. We may not have had water polo in my high school, but I've also never known a heterosexual teenage guy who cared about how greasy some woman's hair was either.