The O.C.
The French Connection

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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French Kiss-Off

Taylor Townsend somehow knows where Henri is staying and makes a visit. He is happy to see her, but she is not happy to see him because he smells bad. "Bathing is for the bourgeois," Henri scoffs. Have we exhausted all the stereotypes about French people yet? Well, I'm pretty sure their love of Jerry Lewis hasn't been mentioned yet, so no. But we're pretty close. Why, exactly, isn't Henri wearing a beret right now? He asks Taylor why she's offended, like, duh, Henri. He says he doesn't want to be in Newport, but his publishing company made him do it. He hates it here because of all the "banal" sunshine and the "clean" and "passionless" people. Oh my god. Just because Europeans may not have the same OCD-ish need to be clean all the time doesn't mean that they resent people who do. And are we supposed to think France doesn't have sunshine? It's not England. It's plenty sunny in France. I know because I've been there, which is more than I can say for Daughter of Regis (Writer of Crap) and probably the actor playing Henri-Michel. Taylor tells Henri that she has met someone new and will not lose him because of Henri's book. Why should Henri care? Didn't Taylor pretty much abandon him and run away to America? I like Taylor and all, but that was not one of her shining moments. It was mean. Fortunately for her, Henri is a two-dimensional French stereotype and not a real person with feelings. He offers to have dinner with Ryan and Taylor so that Ryan won't feel so threatened by him. That sounds like a great idea! What could possibly go wrong? With that, Henri makes Taylor pose on the couch so he can draw her, because all French people are artists and/or winemakers.

Julie's on the phone with one of her clients when Kirsten walks in again and almost catches her. Kirsten, stop coming to work. You're making it difficult for Julie to do her work, which is the only actual work that happens at NewMatch. Kirsten asks Julie why she's been acting so "jumpy" since the New Year's Eve party. Julie doesn't have to answer because the phone rings. Kirsten takes advantage of the distraction to steal Julie's cell phone out of her bag. Because that's a much better way to deal with your business partner's strange behavior. Julie's avoiding you? Then nail her ass down and get a straight answer from her! Don't steal her phone. That's childish. And inconvenient for Julie.

Summer meets the Newpsyweds for lunch. She brings Pancakes with her, and that's kinda foul. It is a restaurant. People are trying to eat. I live in Los Angeles, where everyone brings their stupid dogs everywhere they go. Why bring your dog into the clothing store? He doesn't want to be there. And now he's drooled on the shirt I was thinking of trying on, so, thanks for that. And I'm allergic to him, so now I have to leave the store. How is bringing animals into these places acceptable? And on planes! People can bring small dogs on planes now! I'm still of the mind that small children shouldn't be allowed on planes, so dogs are well out. What if you're allergic to dogs and someone sits next to you with their dog? You're screwed. And then the air is recirculated throughout the cabin so even if the dog isn't near you, his dander will probably come floating down to you eventually. Why are dogs allowed on planes and but smoking isn't? I don't smoke, but I find this unfair. They're just as inconsiderate of the people around them. I'm getting way off topic here and I sound like a cranky old lady, so I'm going to go drink some Ovaltine and watch Diagnosis Murder. That always calms me down. Where are my Epsom salts?

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