Seth and Summer perch on the hood of her car and kiss. For some reason, their smooching sounds are distractingly amplified. I don't know why sound editors think we like that sound. We don't. If we did, we'd get it on our alarm clocks so we could wake up to it in the morning and we'd call our radio stations to request it so it'd be on the top ten at 10. It doesn't help the plot along, and it's just kind of gross. So lay off, sound people, okay? Seth breaks the kiss to complain that Anna is lying. Summer can't believe Seth's thinking about Anna at this moment, and Seth whines that he wishes he could convince Anna not to leave just because of him. When Summer asks if that's why he thinks she's leaving and he points out that it makes sense, she responds, "Yeah. But even if I thought it, I wouldn't say it. I mean, that's a little self-absorbed, Cohen." Hee. Seth adds that he never wanted to hurt Anna's feelings, but maybe if he pretended he cared before -- when her feelings were hurt but she wasn't leaving -- this situation could have been avoided. Summer echoes Ryan's earlier suggestion that Anna might not like it in Newport because it rains in January. She wants more kissing, but Seth wants a cheeseburger. (Actually, I'm assuming it's a cheeseburger, because as far as I am concerned, there's not one reason in the world to eat a hamburger without the cheese. Not one reason. I don't even want to think about a world with cheeseless hamburgers.) Anyway, choosing a cheeseburger over kissing cannot be good for a relationship. ["It really depends on the cheeseburger, I have to say." -- Wing Chun]

At the Mermaid Inn, Theresa lights candles. People from Chino might not have much, but they always have candles. Perhaps Chino's eternal state of darkness has something to do with that. Ryan enters, and Theresa throws herself at him, begging for a foot massage because she's been on her feet all day. When Ryan says they need to talk, she asks if he can't do that while massaging. She then attempts to de-jacket him, and ends up tugging and twisting and pulling to get it off his arms. And if it wasn't meant to be funny, it was anyway. Ryan whines that he doesn't know what to do or how to help Theresa find a job and there's a quick "I live in a pool house" crammed in there, leading her to tell him to shut up. She pushes him onto the bed, announcing that she doesn't need him to take care of her because she's not one of those "Newport chicks" who needs a trust fund to survive; she allows that his concern is "sexy." They kiss. He pulls away to ask about Eddie, and she says she told him she can't marry him right now. Ryan points out that just because Theresa's okay with it doesn't mean that Eddie is. She says that she's not okay with it, but knows it's for the best. She's here to be with Ryan! They get back into the kissing, and he asks, "Are we doin' this?" and she's all, "Not like we haven't before!" The camera pans over the bed, telephone, his jacket, the candles, and out the window and -- hey -- when did Spike get here? And what's Eddie doing in his car? Eddie taps on the windshield in irritation, and then watches the light in the hotel room turn off. He screeches out of the parking lot, sadly unaccompanied by Sid Vicious screeching about doing it his way.