The O.C.
The Goodbye Girl

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Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
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Not By The Hair Of My Chinny Chin Chinplant

Sandy corners Caleb to reveal that he met with the DA, and that it didn't go well. Caleb jabs that he thought Otis was Sandy's friend; didn't they used to make deals all the time? When Sandy points out that it's an election year and Caleb's not too popular with the people, Caleb scoffs at Sandy's meager attempt, and huffs off to make his toast. Sandy stops him to announce that he'll make the problem go away, but that it's going to cost Caleb: Joel McEwan needs to be the chief lumber supplier for the next big Newport Group contract, and it won't be wholesale, either. But it will work. Caleb goes in for the celebratory handshake, but Sandy's all, "Not if you were Man of the Century." When Caleb argues that Sandy shouldn't be upset, because he cuts deals for clients all the time, Sandy rebuts that usually they're the ones who broke the law, not him.

Jimmy and Lady Heather face off with a "Jules" and a "James," but their voice tones are more like "Bitch" and "Loser." He tells her, "You know forgive me. But this can't. Possibly. Be. Happening. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm crazy. To even think it, right?" She's all "Think what?" and he emphatically states that "it" would destroy Marissa, and doesn't Lady Heather think she's been through enough? Lady Heather snorts at him, and continues to insist that she doesn't know what he's talking about.

As Caleb takes the podium and "blah, blah, king of the world"s, Eddie enters the front door of The Big House just as Ryan leaves Theresa to deliver Seth's letter. Marissa sees Eddie and jumps into action. If by "jumps into action," you mean "does absolutely nothing to prevent what she knows is an imminently combustive situation," that is. Caleb, meanwhile, continues to go on about "[his] favorite -- well, [his] only grandson -- Seth," before calling him to join him on stage. Seth is not pleased and rolls his eyes, neck, shoulders, hips, ankles, and any other body part capable of being rolled.

As the Cohens, sans Sandy, line up on stage, Eddie locates Theresa and begs her to leave the party. As he tries to drag her out by her elbow, Ryan turns back to help. Eddie tells Ryan to stay away, but of course he doesn't, and then Ryan gets thrown down on the cameraman's lovely fruit display. Ryan charges back at Eddie, and we have ourselves a fight, ladies and gentleman. I wonder if waiters in Newport get medical benefits, because these guys need it. They're in the line of fire at these soirees. Luke pushes through the crowd to break up the fight, but it's too late. Ryan ends up in the pool, which is kind of fun to watch in reverse. Also, it's got a kicky half-twist to it. I give it a 7.5, but keep an eye on the Russian judge. As Luke and Jimmy hold back Eddie, who is screaming that Ryan is dead, Sandy tells him to leave before the police arrive. Theresa stands poolside and looks sad and also, oddly, a bit like Summer.

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The O.C.

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