Kitchen. Sandy greets Kirsten with a sweet "Good mornin', beautiful." This reminds me of "Top of the mornin'," which leaves me most hopeful that there will be a St. Patrick's Day episode. Because this show rocks the holidays, but also because green beer always brings on the wacky hijinx. Marissa surprises them by traipsing through the kitchen and issuing the sullen greeting "Kirsten. Sandy." Shouldn't there be entryways to the pool house other than through The Big House at what is presumably about seven o'clock in the morning? And do the Cohens not lock their doors? Sandy looks confused by the intrusion, but Kirsten moves on to announcing that Sandy won't believe who is Riviera magazine's "Man of the Year." She yelps Theresa's name in surprise as Theresa, in turn, appears in the kitchen. She is clearly the better choice for Ryan, by the way, greeting the Cohens with the far more respectful "Mr. Cohen" and "Mrs. Cohen." Sandy makes a crack about Theresa's being a good kid and deserving the award, leading Kirsten to reveal the magazine cover, from which Caleb's jowly face glares outward at the world. Sandy groans and says that his vote stays with Theresa.
When Seth and Ryan enter, Kirsten curiously announces that a couple of Ryan's "friends" stopped by. Sandy would so have said "lady friends." An onslaught of inappropriate questions into Ryan's personal life commences as Ryan squints up his eyes and remains silent, while Seth babbles away all his confidences. Sandy points to Ryan and marvels, "It's amazing! His lips don't even move." Kirsten asks how long Theresa is staying, and Seth begins to answer but is immediately silenced by Blue Plastic. When Ryan explains that they're figuring out her situation, Sandy echoes Seth's stream of earlier questions culminating in the ridiculous "Can she afford to buy?" Maybe a hair clip, but a whole house? She's seventeen! After witnessing Sandy's display, Seth justifies his own snoopy nature: "I am this way for a reason." When Kirsten asks whether Theresa's going back to school, Ryan sees an out and announces, "School. Bye." Trailing after Ryan out the door, Seth turns back to tell his parents, "Now you know why I do the talking." Kirsten's off to work, but not before she asks Sandy if Caleb will be in a good mood. Sandy refrains from making any kind of "that depends on whether the babies he had for breakfast were fresh enough" crack, and instead dodges the question by pointing out that he should be in a good mood, since he's Man of the Year. Kirsten meant about the case: will Sandy take it? When Sandy explains that he's still considering it, Kirsten reveals that she and Sandy are hosting the reception for Caleb's award, and that it would be nice if Uncle Sean was able to be there. Sandy musters a half-hearted joke: "Not if we have to pay for the bar tab." Kirsten insists that she's serious, and Sandy repeats that he's thinking about it.