The O.C.
The Goodbye Girl

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Not By The Hair Of My Chinny Chin Chinplant

Ryan locks up his bike, and Marissa asks if she can help. Ryan snits that he can lock up his own bike. Well, actually he doesn't. He does snit, though (and I love it when Ryan snits), about whether Marissa can provide a place for Theresa to live, or a job. Marissa asks if she needs a friend, and I'm sure Theresa could really use the friendship of Marissa, who was so nice to her earlier in this episode. Marissa's bangs, by the way, have mysteriously disappeared in this scene. Marissa suggests that Ryan invite Theresa to Caleb's party, and aside from the questionable fact that Marissa would be an immediate choice for the guest list (it's not like she, Jimmy, or Lady Heather are on any good terms with Caleb), who is she to tell Ryan whom he should and should not invite to a party at the home of his legal guardians? When Ryan asks why Marissa would want him to invite Theresa, she tells him in a spurt of unprecedented self-awareness, "Look. I'm used to getting what I want, which I know is not the most attractive quality." But she also knows that she can't compete with a girl Ryan's known his whole life, not after everything they've gone through together. Ryan tells her that Theresa doesn't have clothes, and a light bulb (a very, very dim bulb) goes off in Marissa's head.

At The Big House, Kirsten sits outside and drinks. Sandy appears, and she asks how his day was; he sweetly responds that all he could think about was getting home to check on her. She admits that she knew Caleb wasn't "above board," but that this is beyond anything she imagined. Sandy vows that that they'll figure it out, and that he'll protect her, but she doesn't want him to! She insists on getting outside counsel, because she doesn't want Sandy involved at all; when she asked for his help, she didn't know what she was asking for! This is her mistake, and she won't let him compromise himself, not even for her. She's off to call the caterers to make sure there's "no cilantro for the Man of The Year." But I'd say Caleb's latest disclosure is cause for a full-on cilantro-fest.

Seth and Summer perch on the hood of her car and kiss. For some reason, their smooching sounds are distractingly amplified. I don't know why sound editors think we like that sound. We don't. If we did, we'd get it on our alarm clocks so we could wake up to it in the morning and we'd call our radio stations to request it so it'd be on the top ten at 10. It doesn't help the plot along, and it's just kind of gross. So lay off, sound people, okay? Seth breaks the kiss to complain that Anna is lying. Summer can't believe Seth's thinking about Anna at this moment, and Seth whines that he wishes he could convince Anna not to leave just because of him. When Summer asks if that's why he thinks she's leaving and he points out that it makes sense, she responds, "Yeah. But even if I thought it, I wouldn't say it. I mean, that's a little self-absorbed, Cohen." Hee. Seth adds that he never wanted to hurt Anna's feelings, but maybe if he pretended he cared before -- when her feelings were hurt but she wasn't leaving -- this situation could have been avoided. Summer echoes Ryan's earlier suggestion that Anna might not like it in Newport because it rains in January. She wants more kissing, but Seth wants a cheeseburger. (Actually, I'm assuming it's a cheeseburger, because as far as I am concerned, there's not one reason in the world to eat a hamburger without the cheese. Not one reason. I don't even want to think about a world with cheeseless hamburgers.) Anyway, choosing a cheeseburger over kissing cannot be good for a relationship. ["It really depends on the cheeseburger, I have to say." -- Wing Chun]

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The O.C.

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