The O.C.
The Groundhog Day

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
Dodging A Bullet

We don't know where exactly Taylor is, but she gets a call from Kaitlin on her cell phone wondering if she's off somewhere with Ryan and reminding us all that those two do share living space along with the rest of the Roberts Boarding House population (a.k.a anyone in the opening credits who doesn't live with the Cohens). Anyway, Taylor tells Kaitlin that she is not with Ryan since she told him she needs space as we all just saw in the Previouslies. Kaitlin exposits that if Taylor isn't with Ryan anymore, then she won't get an invite to Kirsten's big fortieth birthday bash (she's only forty? Really? She must have had Seth, like, during her senior year of college!), which Kaitlin isn't happy about since it means Taylor won't be doing anything weird that will make the event fun for her. And us. Not for Kirsten, though. She never has fun. Taylor hangs up on Kaitlin, only to get in trouble with mini-mall security for loitering on the premises for the last seven hours. With binoculars. Taylor claims she's just bird-watching, but the only bird she's been watching all day is a beautiful turkey, as she's on a balcony across from The Pav. The guy yanks her arm and kicks her out, despite her pleas that Ryan's shift is ending in ten minutes. She even tries to bribe the guy with a donut, but he turns it down, and she sighs in a hilariously disappointed fashion. She'd be a lot more fun if she wasn't so freaking creepy, though. At the rate she's going, Pancakes better watch out that he doesn't get boiled.

Julie pulls a nasty-looking Stouffer's Family-Size Lasagna out of the oven while Kaitlin looks on in horror. Julie says she's short on cash, so their meals will sort of suck for a while. "Why'd you leave NewMatch?" Kaitlin grumbles. I'm kind of surprised that Julie left her in the dark about her whole getting fired due to setting up a prostitution ring thing. Or that Kaitlin hasn't figured it out by now. You see what a relationship with ChrisBrown does to you? It makes you ignorant. Julie gets a Mysterious Phone Call and leaves. "Five people in this house and I end up eating dinner by myself," Kaitlin Kirstens. Julie tells her Mysterious Caller that she'll see him Friday night and she doesn't like sneaking around, even though you know she loves it. Julie Cooper can't not sneak around.

And Bright's up in Summer's room doing a stupid chant surrounded by a bunch of candles. Please let them fall over and engulf him in flames. But no, Summer just walks in, fresh from a shower, and asks Bright what his deal is. He says he's doing some heavy-duty dream interpreting after possibly finding his soulmate. "It's... complicated... I must be... certain," Bright says, sounding very Shatnerish. Summer suggests abandoning the Chinese mysticism and spending time with whomever his soulmate's supposed to be to see if they have anything in common. One thing it might be good to have in common, for example, is sexual orientation. Because if Seth isn't gay, then I don't think you have much of a chance, Bright. Bright says he's a little busy right now planning how to free Newport Chuck, the groundhog. Shouldn't he also be busy with school? Does he still go to Brown? I'm so confused. I'd be a lot less confused if Bright were to, say, leave and not come back. Anyway, Bright finds the practice of keeping Newport Chuck in a cage all year except for one day where he's on display for everyone to be cruel. Summer tells him not to involve her, and he tells her that besides getting her kicked out of the college she was so happy at, he'd never do anything to hurt her. Which would set off a few alarm bells in my head, but Summer shrugs it off. She leaves the room so Bright can stare at his framed picture of Seth and fail to amuse me.

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The O.C.




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