We open at the Mermaid Inn. My guess is that the Mermaid Inn is not actually in Orange County, but in a county adjacent, because would the denizens of Orange County really allow a motel in their midst? Seth and Ryan amble through the parking lot, as Seth questions Ryan about when he took is watch off. We're joining this conversation late, so I'll spare you my confusion: Ryan took his watch off during sex with Theresa and left it behind when she either skipped town or turned into a cleaning woman. Ryan doesn't like Seth's line of questioning, and asks whether Seth wants to wait in the car; Seth obliviously misses Ryan's insinuation and responds, "No, that's cool. I got [sic] more questions." He rambles about whether Ryan took his watch off during sex or during foreplay, which he thinks would seem presumptuous. He expresses no worries about how it would seem for Ryan to stop mid-thrust to remove his timepiece. A grimacing Ryan interrupts to point out that, in the car, Seth could put the radio on and the windows up, but Seth is not so easily deterred and goes on about how he prefers to leave his watch on during sex to see how he's doing and if he's "beating [his] old time." He explains, "The thing is, it's sort of a sex marathon, not a sprint." Ryan looks visibly relieved to have reached the desk clerk by this point, and asks about the watch. The desk clerk, who resembles Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street, enthuses about the niceness and beauty of Theresa, asking if she's Ryan's girlfriend. An awkward pause follows, as Ryan blinks repeatedly. Is he attempting to respond in code or something? He finally speaks up to say she's not his girlfriend, leading Mr. Hooper to waggle the missing watch in his face and say he'd be a lucky guy if she were.
As the boys leave, Seth suggests that one day they'll look back on this situation and laugh; Ryan insists that he's already fine, since Theresa is back with Eddie, where she should be. Seth proposes that it's a good time for Ryan, because he finally has "no women to protect from violent goateed factory workers or pill-popping manic-depressives." Originally, I typo-ed "pill-pooping manic-depressives," which would indicate an entirely different kind of problem. Seth adds that it's been "nothing but lady drama" with Ryan since he arrived in Newport; he officially declares it an "angst-free Ryan month," which Ryan thinks might be a little extreme. Seth concedes, "Angst-free Ryan week, with an option for an additional week." He lowers his voice to whisper, "If you like it."