The O.C.
The Last Waltz

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The Vast Schmaltz

Summer's many Social Chair duties apparently also include lecturing committee members on the fundamentals of Geometry, since one girl has made a triangle cutout when she was supposed to make an octagon. With a theme like "Our Friends, Shapes!" this dance is just bound to be fun. Taylor Townsend walks up and adopts a humble tone as she asks Summer if she can help out with the dance preparations. Summer accuses her of staging a "power play" at the Kickoff Carnival (apparently, making a few suggestions about mini food and hybrid cars to wrest control of the Social Chair seat on the day of the Carnival is not a "power play." Okay) and causing Ryan to get kicked out of school. I didn't realize that Taylor was the one who punched Dean Evil in the face, especially since she was standing so far away from him at the time. Maybe she has super-stretchy arms like Dhalsim from Street Fighter 2. If she can do the yoga fire move, that would be super-sweet. Taylor Townsend says that she doesn't have any friends because her insecurity makes her push people away. She was hoping that being Social Chair would get her a few friends, but no, thanks to Summer. All Taylor Townsend wants is someone who will write stuff in her yearbook besides "have a nice summer." Someone needs to write that to the writers instead. It's hard to be on Summer's side in this storyline when she's such a beeyotch to everyone, especially her boyfriend. Taylor Townsend's emotional appeal wins Summer over, and she tells Taylor to go show Beth what an octagon looks like. "She is a pinhead, isn't she?" Taylor Townsend says. Summer just stares at her. Taylor Townsend realizes that calling people pinheads is one of the reasons she doesn't have friends. Because building yourself up by putting others down is totally not what high-school popularity is all about.

Marissa's struggling with one of those public-school lockers. They're all rusty and they have writing on them and it's just horrible! Poor, poor Marissa. Suddenly, an attractive white surfer guy walks up and tells her she's trying to open his locker. Marissa apologizes, saying she "can't remember" which locker is hers. Public school is so demanding, what with the needing to remember your locker number and all. How do those millions of kids currently enrolled in this country's public education system do it every day? The guy, named Johnny, offers to let Marissa store her books in his locker, since she's about to get picked up by her boyfriend, and then Casey and a guy on a skateboard wave to Johnny from across the rotting cesspool that passes for a football field. By the way, every public-school kid with lines is white, because even though we've seen how multi-ethnic the public-school population is, this show really doesn't like to cast people of color. And making that repossessor-messenger guy Asian doesn't count. The skateboard guy immediately crashes into a group of kids because he's wacky cool like that, and Casey and Johnny kiss. Johnny introduces Marissa to his girlfriend, and Casey says they've already met. Skateboard Guy groans and gets up, and Johnny introduces him as Dennis. Dennis says that everyone calls him "Chili." "No one calls him 'Chili,'" says Johnny. You can go ahead and include me in that group. Casey asks Marissa is she wants to join them in getting something to eat after school, and Johnny says Marissa's waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up. Dennis says that Marissa's having a boyfriend is a problem, because he loves her: "I fall fast and hard." Ew. And also, way to be the cheaper, less cute, public-school version of Seth. Johnny and Casey offer to give Marissa a ride home so that she'll get to come to school tomorrow knowing a few people. Marissa agrees, and calls Ryan to tell him she doesn't need a ride.

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The O.C.

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