Kirsten was unable to think of an excuse in time, so she's stuck with Taylor Townsend preparing tonight's dinner. Taylor needlessly frets that Kirsten's choice of fish might remind Frank of his non-existent past as a sailor and wonders if the spinach is e. coli-free until Kirsten asks her what she's really nervous about; "Even for you, you're acting a little strange," she snarks. Well, at least Taylor has a personality, Kirsten. I'm having a hard time telling the difference between you and that dead fish right now. Taylor says she's nervous about meeting Ryan's dad, and Kirsten says that Frank hasn't been in a woman's company in eight years, so he'll probably like Taylor. Is... that supposed to make Taylor feel better, or run off to buy some mace? Taylor says this is the first time in her and Ryan's relationship that something real and serious has come up, and she's worried she won't be able to handle it the right way. "I really want him to see that I can be there for the serious stuff, too," Taylor says. "The fact that you're there for him means everything," Kirsten says. Unlike that sentence, which pretty much meant nothing. But it makes Taylor feel better, and she hugs Kirsten and calls her "Kiks." Sandy comes home and wonders what all this food preparation is about. Taylor stupidly assumes that he knew about Frank coming over tonight. He didn't. And he's not thrilled about it.
Kirsten follows Sandy's sulk bus up to the bedroom. He says he's sure tonight's dinner will be "delightful" and also that he has yet to hear back from the prison doctor, who I'm sure is waiting for the best possible dramatic moment to call. Kirsten says they should "make the best of it." "We always do," Sandy says, pointing out that they've been more than accommodating to Ryan's family where his mother and brother were concerned. Sandy refuses to say that his problem this time is the fact that Frank is the BizarroSandy, though, just saying that Ryan "has been through hell and back this year," like he hasn't been through hell and back every single other year of his life. Also, Sandy says, he doesn't trust Frank. Kirsten says she understands that Sandy feels threatened; they all thought Frank would be a monster, but instead he's "smart and he's funny and he's nice." Except, Sandy rightfully points out, when he's beating women up and committing armed robbery. "The guy's a real prize. Move over, Bachelor Bob," Sandy says. I hope he wasn't referring to Bob Guiney, because that would be a shamefully out-of-date pop culture reference. Kirsten assures Sandy that Ryan having a relationship with Frank won't damage Ryan's relationship with Sandy, which, duh, of course it won't. Guy's going to be dead pretty soon, right? And, she points out, this is important to Ryan. In fact, Kirsten says, it's "so important." What is Kirsten's deal? Does she have a crush on Frank or something? Does she have a thing for aged mythical half-gods? Does she spend her days watching that Hercules Disney movie when everyone else is out of the house ignoring her? Sandy agrees to make an effort tonight.