The O.C.
The Nana

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She Used To Mean, Used To Be Sly

We open with a driveway shot of the Big House. It's dawn, and Ryan and Luke are bleary-eyed from searching for Marissa through the night. Luke -- who has suddenly become a brunet -- wants to stop, but Ryan won't give up: he suggests that Marissa would run to someplace she felt safe. And as much as I hate to say it, Ryan: duh. Then again, it's Marissa we're talking about. She's probably halfway to L.A. by now, ready to cash in on a job vacancy about which she recently became aware. Luke posits that Marissa might have called Seth, and Ryan hopefully adds that Seth might have already gone to get her. As they enter the pool house, they quickly determine that that didn't happen, since Seth is asleep, curled up cutely in the fetal position under a blanket. When Luke kicks him to wake him up (nice!), Seth jumps to a sitting position and mutters, "It's my precious. You can't have it." Hee. Luke accuses him of falling asleep, and Seth -- whose bed head is quite fetching -- insists that he was just "adjusting [his] back." Ryan and Luke inquire as to whether Marissa called, and Seth responds that even if he was sleeping, which he wasn't -- he was adjusting his back! -- he would have heard the phone. As he looks at the phone, he notes the peculiarity of a missed call. Ryan grabs the phone as Luke snits that they've been driving around all night "like idiots." Are idiots known for driving around all night? Is that a trademark of your basic idiot? When Seth counters that it's Luke's fault, Luke orders him to "shut up" because it was an "accident." Seth asks whether Luke accidentally slept with Lady Heather, or accidentally told Marissa about it. He follows up by advising Luke to "keep it in [his] board shorts next time." Ryan announces that the call was from Marissa, who is okay but said not to follow her. In other words, "I'm needy! Come find me! And make it snappy!"

Lady Heather slithers up in the background wearing a bright orange shirt. And either she fell asleep in a tanning bed or ate a few million too many carrots because the woman is as orange as her shirt. She asks where Marissa is, and Ryan vows that she's not at the Big House. Disbelieving him, Lady Heather stomps inside, surveys the room, and then notices Luke and asks what's going on. Ryan awkwardly explains that Marissa ran away last night after their return from L.A., to which Lady Heather instantly rebuts, "Why? What did you do to her?" Ryan points out that he didn't do anything, but says Lady Heather did. Well, if we're getting technical about it, she did something to Luke. Luke interrupts to tell Lady Heather that "they know," and she snaps that he should "shut up," obviously still hoping to salvage their secret. I would so not have been allowed to watch this show when I was a kid: The Electric Company was forbidden because my mother swore she heard one of the characters say "shut up." Luke further explains about the motel sighting, and that Marissa knows, too. None of the boys will look Lady Heather in the eye throughout this disclosure, perhaps because they know that if they do, their balls will spontaneously shrivel up and fall off. That woman's got quite the glare on her. Still, she maintains her composure, asking the others to leave so she can "have a talk" with Ryan.

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The O.C.

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