It's prom time, but no one has a date except Taylor Townsend, who's still with her Korean restaurant boyfriend. After several weak attempts by Seth to convince Summer to forgive him and be his prom date, he ends up using Anna again and takes her as his date to make Summer jealous. Ryan makes a spur-of-the-moment decision to bring Theresa, Marissa brings a reluctant Volchok, and Taylor hooks Summer up with her boyfriend's Korean pop star cousin. None of these dates are particularly successful, especially with Summer getting wasted and taking a header off of the prom theme pirate ship and Volchok ditching Marissa to make out with some other high school girl. Worse yet, he steals the five thousand dollars worth of cash that Taylor Townsend the Incredible Moron had stuffed in the pocketbook that she casually left around to pay for the prom after party. While Seth finally tells a barfy Summer the truth about not getting into Brown, Ryan heads to Volchok's apartment for a knock-down, drag-out fight that ends with Volchok bleeding on the ground either unconscious or dead. Also, the adults get a few seconds of screen time where Sandy finds out that he and Griffin are being investigated by the police and Kirsten doesn't drink any alcohol.
The previously segments on this show are ridiculous; they always have a scene from, like, two seasons ago or some minor scene from a few months ago that could only have been included because the upcoming show will focus on that moment. For instance, in this episode, we see a scene from Summer and Seth's last fight makeup when Seth gave Summer his list of shameful misdeeds.
Seth and Ryan walk along the Promenade, and fittingly discuss the prom. Seth is bummed that Summer is angry at him, and that they won't get a chance go to such a "mythic" event together, saying that every time he tries to get near Summer, she blows her rape whistle. With that, Seth plays his imaginary rape whistle in what has to be an ad-lib, just based on the shit-eating grin he sported after giving the whistle an awesome "Rrrrrape!" flourish. Seth: making rape cute since 2006. Ryan doesn't think that the prom is such a big deal, since he's from Chino where they don't have such fancy events. Also, because he is a heterosexual male. Ryan invites Seth to spend the night hanging out with him and watching a movie. Seth rudely declines his offer, preferring to get close enough to Summer to ask her to the prom with his latest stupid plan: impersonating a Brown admissions officer. Seth asks Ryan whether he's planning on inviting anyone, such as Tina Woo, or maybe even Theresa. Ryan promises only to think about it, thanking Seth for not saying anything about Ryan and Marissa going together. Yes, Ryan is so unwilling to discuss the prospect of going to the prom with Marissa that he himself has just brought it up. Seth says he figured that Marissa would be going to the prom with her "Surf Nazi," which, I guess, Volchok is, now that he's trying to be Marissa's idea of the perfect man. At this, the boys notice Volchok making out with a girl who definitely isn't Marissa right out in the open. I don't understand why Volchok bothered to even care about getting back with Marissa last week if he doesn't care enough about her to be faithful, but whatever.
Summer is none too pleased to find out that her morning meeting at the diner with a Brown admissions officer is just Seth. That's what you get for thinking that a freaking Brown admissions guy would come all the way to Newport to eat pancakes with you, isn't it, Summer? She really isn't smart enough to have gotten into Brown.