Sandy, Kirsten, Julie, and Dr. Neil sit, eat, and reminisce about their children. They're growing up so fast, even though this episode seems to have lasted a year and a half to me. While Dr. Neil and Julie remember when Summer and Marissa wore matching outfits to their first day of kindergarten and, after being super-pissed-off and embarrassed, they became best friends. Sandy and Kirsten share memories of Seth's fifth-grade phase of answering only to Boba Fett. Of course, no one has any memories of Ryan. Kirsten moves to propose a toast, and, considering her toast history, everyone has the right to look nervous here. But she simply congratulates Julie and Dr. Neil on their engagement -- right before Dr. Neil gets a call and excuses himself. "I just hope Neil and I are as happy as you and Sandy," Julie says, even though she knows very well how unhappy they've been lately.
Inside, Dr. Neil is talking to someone on the phone about Sandy. We don't know what they're saying, but judging by that ominous music, it can't be good.
It's slow dance time at the prom. Ryan and Theresa are enjoying themselves. Summer's also enjoying herself, but that's more because of the copious amounts of alcohol she's been drinking all night. Marissa is all alone. Seth and Anna dance together; he only has eyes for Summer. Seth says that he wants to talk to Summer, but Anna tells him he can't because, you know, she wants Seth for herself. She tells him that Summer is thinking about how she shouldn't have doubted Seth before. Summer just looks drunk to me.
Even though the song isn't over, Taylor Townsend calls the prom to order from high atop her pirate ship. It's time to announce the Prom King and Queen, although Taylor Townsend would like to make a speech of her own first. A Featured Extra doesn't like this idea one bit, and starts heckling Taylor Townsend. I think it's the same guy who heckled her at that drop-in night. Because Harbor students don't have any adult supervision whatsoever, no chaperones come over to smack the kid upside the head, and Taylor Townsend is forced to cut her speech short to open the envelopes. The Prom Queen is...Summer Roberts! Seth is amazed, as am I; does Summer even have any other friends in that school? Seriously, we don't see her with or hear her so much as mention other people at that school, and we all know how unpopular her boyfriend was, so how did that happen? Summer drags Big Korea to the top of the pirate ship and gets on the mike, slurring out a thank-you speech and then introducing the crowd to her prom date, "The number one pop star in Korea." Two Korean girls instantly scream and jump up and down, like, how did they get in there? Are they Korean-American students who have a great deal of knowledge about their culture, or some random Korean girls who wandered in off the street? I'm so confused. Summer adds that she is going to kiss her prom date, and Seth asks Anna what part of her plan this was. Anna assures him that everything will work out. Summer kisses Big Korea, and then falls head first off of the pirate ship and into the crowd below. "Man overboard!" Taylor Townsend cries, as she rethinks her design decision to have a piece of the boat's railing cut away. Marissa and Seth also run to Summer's aid, but she doesn't want anyone near her and runs away. Seth follows, freaking out that Summer needs the all-healing powers of a towelette and generally acting like an ass. Marissa heads off to help Summer to the after-party, asking Ryan to try to find her date for her. He's happy to be of service. But first, Theresa gets a phone call from that mysterious guy she's been sort of seeing and goes to take it. Before she goes to take the call, Theresa tells Ryan that she's happy to be at his prom and wouldn't want to be anywhere else.