The O.C.
The Perfect Couple

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Lady Prevaricates

Up by the steering wheel thingy, or wherever, Ryan broods. Marissa bubbles up and ditzes something about her parents getting back together. Ryan sighs and drops the Caleb bomb. Marissa instantly tears up and flees into the final commercial break.

Wolfram And Hart South. Babble about the lawsuit I don't care about. The Homewrecking Slut -- get this -- crawls across the various documents spread out on the floor on her hands and knees in order to flash about three yards of ass crack at Sandy, like, underwear, harlot. Look into it. Sandy eyes the ass crack briefly before joining her to paw around for the official state budget, in the process unleashing a lame Twister joke upon an unsuspecting and undeserving audience. Sandy, my man. Where's the love? The Homewrecking Slut whores something about that game getting her into a lot of trouble back in college, and you know what? Fuck this subplot. There's no way Sandy Cohen is going to step out on Kirsten with this cheap, talent-free piece of ass, so let's cut to the chase: The Homewrecking Slut humiliates herself by making an overt pass at Sandy, and he kicks her to the curb: "I've got a boat to catch." Sandy gathers his things and leaves. The Slut pouts. Drop dead, biotch.

Back on the boat, Seth and Anna rip on the other guests. Seth points out an unseen youth who's apparently sporting a wispy moustache, and mock-shouts shaving instructions. Anna bats at him, giggling, and opines that Seth's speaking from personal experience. "Well, maybe when I was thirteen," he admits, "my nickname used to be 'Magnum P.I.' Mothers can be so cruel." Heh. They banter about the relative merits of Pittsburgh and Newport for a bit before Anna gazes at Seth dreamily and leans in for a kiss. Seth loses his nerve at the last second and, adorably stammering, offers to fetch her a drink. Anna smiles a sad little smile as she watches him go.

Seth motors past Summer and the Chipster, the latter of whom is babbling something about the sky. "Yeah, not understanding a word you're saying," Summer snits. "Finish 'shrooming, and I'm gonna go get a drink." She chases after Seth.

In the bar area below, Lady Heather takes to the microphone to announce that the event has raised $200,000 for the children's charity. Marissa darts into the room in time to see Caleb move in towards her mother. Disgusted, she shakes her head and looks down at her flats as Ryan enters the room behind her.

Somewhere above, Summer latches onto Seth's arm and pushes him down the stairs to "talk."

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The O.C.

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