The O.C.
The Perfect Couple

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Lady Prevaricates

Outside, Lady Heather confronts Marissa, lying that she had every intention of telling Marissa about Caleb after the party, and that she orchestrated the entire evening only to prove to Marissa that she and her daughter could be a family again. Marissa tells her to suck it. Lady Heather glares and vanishes into the boat.

Meanwhile, Anna's delightedly giving Seth a gruesome blow-by-blow of Lady Heather's humiliation at her daughter's hands. Seth's completely grossed out when he realizes that should Lady Heather marry his grandfather, Marissa will be his aunt. Anna wonders how Seth missed all the excitement. Seth stammers, "I-I-I find raffles to be extremely upsetting. Th-th-there's just too much suspense." Heh. As they pass below Summer and her still-whacked-out date, Summer raises a finger to her lips to mime, "Shhh!" and then draws that same finger across her throat in the universal gesture signifying "I will O.J. your scrawny, Xbox-beating ass if you breathe a word about that kiss to anyone, Geek Boy." Unnerved, Seth starts prattling about Pirates of the Carribean while Summer clutches her pearls and looks revolted with herself.

Elsewhere on deck, Kirsten begins a tirade against her father with "I trusted you!," so I immediately shut out the rest of what she has to say. I hate it when people shriek, "I trusted you!" on TV. The upshot is, Kirsten will be shunning her father from now on, so repulsed is she by his liaison with Lady Heather. "Good luck with your new girlfriend," Kirsten spits as she heads for the dock. "You're going to need it." Clueless Sandy, finally arriving, greets his wife with a broad smile. "We're leaving!" she snaps. "But I wore a jacket!" he protests, trailing after her. Hee.

Ryan hesitantly approaches Marissa, who's wiping a few stray tears from her eyes. He asks if she wants him to take her back to Jimmy's. She smiles and says she thinks she's actually ready for their first date. "We're way past that," Ryan notes. They beam at each other.

"So, in theory," Sandy blurts, as he and Kirsten enter their bedroom, "Julie Cooper could be your stepmother." Kirsten would rather not contemplate that horrific outcome, thank you very much, and clomps over to her dresser to remove her earrings. She tells Sandy that the one bright point of the evening was their totally unexpected and completely shocking raffle win. Sandy's down with that. "So, what are you doing now?" he asks her. Kirsten smirks and, turning to draw him into a clinch, breathes, "You." They mack.

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The O.C.

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