Marissa wafts out of the restaurant just as Ryan is turning to go back inside. Ryan interrupts her snit over Luke's having the nerve to show up by asking for her car keys. She yelps that he can't have them because it's like saying Luke didn't do anything wrong! Yeah! Keep all the drunk people on the road; otherwise they'll never learn their lessons! Ryan insists that he's not taking anyone's side, and Marissa yells that he should, because Luke needs time alone to feel bad about what he did. Ryan argues that Luke does feel bad, which is why he's leaving! When Marissa warbles her confusion, Ryan explains about Portland. Resigned, he asks for her keys again, because Luke's had a lot to drink.
Back inside, Kirsten is well on her way. She polishes off a bottle of champagne as Sandy hopefully looks on, glass extended. When she passes over his glass for her own he says, "That's cool. That's cool. I didn't want any anyway." Hee. Kirsten, attempting to deal with the announcement, emphatically repeats, "Julie Cooper is my stepmom." Sandy thinks it's time for another bottle of champagne, and Jimmy agrees that she should drink up. Kirsten rambles on about the "unholy alliance" and "two storm fronts colliding," and that it's "the apocalypse for us all." Hee. Sandy suggests that she "lay off the sauce," and she turns to Jimmy for backup, asking if, in all the time they spent together growing up, he ever thought Caleb would marry his ex-wife. He didn't, but neither did he think he'd end up screwing Kirsten's then-eight-year-old sister. Let's hope, anyway. Jimmy's all, "Yeah, give me a glass." Calling him "Jimbo," Sandy proposes that the marriage could be the best thing that ever happened to him, but Kirsten insists that there's nothing good about it: "This marriage is an asteroid that's hit the earth. Now we just have to wait and see what species survives." Hee. Good line.