The O.C.
The Proposal

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Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
Hammer Time

At The Lighthouse, Sandy stands on a brick wall and looks really, really short. Is Peter Gallagher that short? I imagine they'll keep Ben McKenzie far away from such height-emphasizing (or, more appropriately, lack-of-height-emphasizing) props. He greets the representative from the liquor board, telling him about the "craziest thing" that happened when he opened his mail and read about the reneging of the license. Liquor Lackey is all, "Yeah." Sandy asks, "Crazy, yeah?" and Liquor Lackey says, "Yeah, your license has been reneged." Sandy whines that The Lighthouse can't succeed without a liquor license: "This is Newport Beach -- everyone here's a borderline alcoholic!" Liquor Lackey explains that the temporary license was issued before the newly appointed Liquor Commissioner became involved. He asks if the name Steve Paiser means anything to Sandy, and it doesn't. Liquor Lackey points out that the name would mean something to Jimmy Cooper; Jimmy was Liquor Commissioner's financial advisor before Jimmy stole $250,000 from him, which forced Liquor Commissioner back into the workforce. So. Liquor Lackey's advice to Sandy is to ask Jimmy to step down. And also to have his eyebrows trimmed, since Liquor Lackey's eyebrows are very precisely groomed.

Ryan watches television at The Non-Beautiful Blue Bachelor Pad while Marissa offers up lunch options: "Mac and cheese or mac and cheese." Weren't they just at the pier for lunch? And wasn't she just pretending to be eating an ice cream bar? It's the same day, because she's still sporting the Wall of Hair. She leans over the back of the couch to kiss him, and then slides over onto his lap, claiming to have "forgot[ten] how fun this was." He's all, "Pretty fun." Ryan suggests that lunch can wait, to which she responds, "We are having a pretty big dinner." And it took me a while to realize that that was not supposed to be some oral sex joke, but was actual commentary on the fact that they're having dinner out at The Lighthouse. Marissa should not have both tears and jokes in one episode; it's just not fair to the viewing audience. A knock at the door interrupts their mackage; Ryan suggests that it's Jimmy, and Marissa points out the obvious -- that Jimmy might actually have a key to his own house. He may be spineless, but he can at least manage that.

The visitor turns out to be Caleb, who request a "private word" with Marissa. Ryan's keen to leave, but Marissa snits that she and Ryan don't have secrets, and that she wants him there. Who cares what Caleb wants? Caleb warns that the conversation can't leave the room, and then orders Marissa to sit in her own house. She does. He takes a chair opposite her and starts in on how wonderful Lady Heather is, leading Marissa to respond incredulously, "She is?" Undeterred, Caleb adds that Marissa is very important to Lady Heather, so it's important to him to have her blessing. Mischa Barton attempts a surprised reaction, which consists of a random neck roll. When Caleb explains that he's going to ask Lady Heather to marry him, Marissa responds, "You want to marry my mom?" Her delivery is so off in this scene. Substitute "dog" for "mom" in that sentence, and that's how the line is delivered. I can't believe they didn't have Mischa re-deliver that line; then again, who cares how it sounds when her legs are that long! Caleb insists that he loves Lady Heather very much, leading Marissa to exclaim that he doesn't even know her! Ryan suggests that Marissa just needs some time to adjust to this news, and Caleb yelps, "Impossible!" He intends to propose tonight at the restaurant, with all their family and friends in attendance, which is one way to take Jimmy and Sandy's big night and make it all about himself. Marissa guesses she can't stop him, and Caleb rises to say he'll see them tonight, adding an unconvincing "dear" to the end of the sentence. He leaves, and Marissa laments that if Lady Heather marries Caleb, she'll be the most powerful woman in Newport. There's a "Mwah ha ha ha!" joke in there somewhere. Ryan's all, "Not if you tell Caleb the truth." Ominous tinkling.

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The O.C.




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