The O.C.
The Rescue

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
A Pirate's Life For He!

Jimmy's at the door, and after Kirsten confirms that Marissa is okay, he explains that it's Lady Heather who's the problem. He asks, "Is Sandy coming home for lunch?" but it sounds an awful lot like he says, "Is Sandy Cohen home for lunch?" Kirsten explains that Sandy just started a new job today, and Jimmy reveals that Lady Heather is suing Jimmy for full custody as well as possibly supervised visits with the kids. Kirsten asks why Lady Heather would do that, but Jimmy doesn't care; his question is whether he's even got a shot of joint custody considering what he's put his family through. What kind of case does he have? Kirsten invites him in while she tracks down Sandy's new number, and Jimmy awkwardly says he'll wait outside. Kirsten realizes his illicit kiss-based reluctance as he awkwardly shifts around on the porch. Within earshot of Seth, Kirsten claims that she and Jimmy have been friends for too long to let "something like this" come between then. She says "it was just a --" He finishes, "It was stupid. It was -- it was -- it was -- monumentally stupid." Jimmy apologizes, and Kirsten says it's okay; she then clarifies that it's not okay, but really it's okay. If that's confusing, it made sense in the delivery. Of course, Kelly Rowan could make the lyrics of a Roxette song sound sensible in the delivery. Jimmy says that Kirsten and Sandy are his only remaining friends, and that he doesn't want to lose her. Sandy's friendship, apparently, would be no great loss. Sufficiently coerced, Jimmy agrees to go inside.

Marissa has reached Jimmy's voicemail, but doesn't get a chance to leave a message as Lady Heather snits back into the room, ranting about the inferior security at the hospital, which is exactly why she thought San Diego would be good for Marissa. Marissa's all, "San Diego?" Lady Heather explains that Dr. Burke has a facility there. Marissa's all, "Dr. Burke?" Lady Heather reveals that Dr. Burke is a highly recommended psychiatrist who runs an institute for "young women who are troubled." Marissa instantly concludes, "You're sending me to a mental institution." Lady Heather clarifies that it's a "recovery center." While Marissa continues to look "outraged," the rest of us wonder what would be so wrong with that? Do they honestly expect the viewing audience to believe that tossing back a bottle each of pills and tequila was just a momentary lapse in judgment? Or an accident, i.e.: "Oops, I stepped on the mouth of a bottle of tequila, causing the bottle to flip up into the air and spiral downward, during which time I quickly swallowed the pills in my hand to free myself to catch the bottle, but I didn't shut my mouth in time, and the tequila poured straight into my open mouth!" Lady Heather knows that Marissa doesn't understand, but she'd rather be hated than risk losing Marissa again. How outrageously parental of her! Marissa asks whether Jimmy knows, and Lady Heather dodges the question by claiming that time away from Jimmy might be good for Marissa. Marissa snittily asks, what if she doesn't want to go, and Lady Heather says it's Dr. Burke's decision; she'll be there after lunch to evaluate Marissa. Lady Heather pleads with Marissa to talk to Dr. Burke and let her help; then, she'll be able to get out of the hospital and start getting better. That monster! Marissa pretends to agree and claims to need to use the bathroom; she sneaks the cell phone away with her. Meanwhile, Lady Heather picks up Ryan's flowers and drops them in the trash.

The Big House. Seth's still reading a comic book, now up in his room. There's a knock on the door, and he yells, "Not now, Mom. I'm studying naked!" Summer's signature "ew" comes in response. Seth realizes it's her and hurries to the door, announcing that she should come in. She yells, "Um. No way," screaming, "No, no, no, no!" as he opens the door to reveal that she's standing there covering her eyes with her hands. She slowly opens her eyes, checks out his non-nudity, and stomps into the room, announcing, "Okay. I don't get it. What kind of family do you have, Cohen?" Hee. Seth slickly covers, "The kind where mothers and sons wear clothes. Always. Even in the shower." Summer appraises his bedroom and hones in on the weak spot: a toy horse sitting on the desk. She picks it up and laughingly asks what it is, making it hop along in the air. Seth claims not to know where it came from, and Summer's all, "Uh huh. What's its name?" She stares Seth down until he admits, "Captain Oats. What are you doing here?" Suitably distracted by the question, Summer puts down Captain Oats and explains that a freaking-out Marissa called her because Lady Heather's threatening to "ship her off to the insane asylum." And okay. Enough already. It's 2003, not 1903! Seth is incredulous, but Summer insists that she's serious and needs to "get radical" -- she needs Ryan! Seth explains that Ryan's taking a placement exam and asks, "What's wrong with me, though? Am I not radical enough?" Summer says it depends on whether he's ready to take on Julie Cooper, and Seth quickly agrees that they do indeed need Ryan. As they rush out of the room together, Seth points, all, "That's my bed." Summer's all, "Okay," and Seth's all, "Just wanted you to know that," and Summer's all, "Uh huh." Hee.

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The O.C.

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