The O.C.
The Rescue

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A Pirate's Life For He!

Early morning at The Big House. Ryan looks typically morose. Seth looks atypically morose. Sandy sips coffee and tries to see out from underneath his obstructing eyebrows. Kirsten removes a giant tub of butter from the fridge and brandishes a knife, offering up bagels, but no one's taking. She expositions that since they won't hear from the hospital in a while, the boys should just get showered and dressed; and besides, Ryan can't be late for his meeting with the Dean. Sandy offers to take them to school, and Kirsten further expositions that Sandy also can't be late for the first day at his new job. She struggles with the equally giant lid of the giant butter before concluding that if they're not going to eat, they should just go. Ryan and Seth do some sort of bizarre square dance, crossing paths in front of Sandy as the phone rings. The three freeze, locked in the same frame. Kirsten turns. Ring. Ring. The camera ominously zooms in on the phone.

Hospital. We pan up and over Marissa's sleeping body as Jimmy tucks hair behind her ear, since she can't do it for herself and it's Mischa Barton's finest acting technique. The Cohens tromp in en masse and Jimmy explains that Marissa just fell back asleep but had been "awake...and, uh, aware." Ryan crosses the room and slowly eases himself into a bedside chair, never taking his eyes off Marissa. Jimmy graciously thanks Ryan for finding Marissa and calling the hospital; his voice trails as he mentally ponders what would have happened if she hadn't been airlifted out. Sandy asks when Marissa can go home, and Jimmy thinks it'll be in a day or two because the hospital wants to keep her under observation. Kirsten agrees that it's hospital policy, just as Lady Heather enters in time to snit that there's no need to worry: "When a teenaged girl palms a dozen painkillers and washes it down with tequila? It's perfectly normal, right?" She asks why the Cohens are there, and Jimmy reveals that he called them. Lady Heather snots that Marissa needs to be with her family -- no visitors. She and Ryan exchange steely glances, and then the Cohens tromp out.

In the hallway, Sandy tells Ryan not to take it personally because Lady Heather's just been through every parent's nightmare. ["He doesn't add that she's a bitch on wheels, but he sure could." -- Wing Chun] Kirsten is sure Lady Heather will apologize, and Jimmy's all, "You are? It's [Lady Heather] we're talkin' about!" Lady Heather's voice booms behind them, demanding to talk with Ryan alone. She bitches that she doesn't know what happened in Mexico, but that she does know that since Ryan he showed up, Marissa's been a wreck -- crying, not wanting to go to Cotillion, and having problems with Luke. Lady Heather claims that Ryan now has another "shining accomplishment" to add to his "list of achievements": "In addition to stealing cars, burning down houses, and befriending would-be assassins, you've almost killed my daughter." And looking at it that way, you probably wouldn't want Ryan as your next-door neighbor, either. Ryan takes a deep breath then close-talks that Lady Heather can blame him all she wants, but that he would never do anything to hurt Marissa. Lady Heather comebacks that Ryan won't get the chance, because he's never going to see Marissa again! And if he tries, Lady Heather will make sure he's "thrown back in juvie...where [he] belong[s]!" Ryan's eyes bug out almost to the point of crossing.

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The O.C.

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