The O.C.
The Rivals

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Mystery Of The Letter In The Locker

Kirsten rushes into her office at the Newport Group, closely followed by Lady Heather. Kirsten is wearing a white on white suit in this scene, while Lady Heather wears head-to-toe black. Kirsten and Lady Heather are very Wicked. This would be a lot clearer if the writers would just take it up one notch and turn Lady Heather green. Lady Heather is also wearing a shawl, but I don't really see her as the shawl type. Kirsten repeatedly declines Lady Heather's entreaties to have lunch, shop, see a movie and/or have coffee. She finally announces that while she appreciates Lady Heather's desire to be good friends, "the thing about good friends? Is that when they want something, they just ask." This brings Lady Heather to her point: the interior design job. She knows it's available, and she wants it. A flustered Kirsten responds that she thought Lady Heather wanted Kirsten to water her plants or babysit Caitlyn? Or maybe Lady Heather just needs Kirsten to water Caitlyn, since the quantity and quality of care she's getting these days appears to be on par with that given to the average houseplant. Lady Heather snits that Kirsten doesn't take her seriously as a working woman or designer, and Kirsten points out that Lady Heather isn't exactly qualified. Lady Heather snivels that she was doing lots of design work before she had Marissa, leading Kirsten to point out that Lady Heather had Marissa when she was eighteen. For all the teen pregnancies in Orange County, these people sure made good. Lady Heather announces that she knows the designer fell through, and that Kirsten has no one. When Kirsten stares at her inquisitively, Lady Heather flatly responds, "Caleb. Pillow talk." Kirsten manages not to run shrieking from the room at that visual as Lady Heather adds that Caleb thought the idea was "inspired," but also said he'd defer to Kirsten's judgment. Lady Heather begs for one shot; if it doesn't work out, Kirsten can fire her. It's a win-win! Except for the part where it obviously won't work out.

Back at the Harbor School, we hear hysterical laughter as Seth walks through the outside café area carrying his lunch tray. He approaches a table where Summer, Anna, and Luke are laughing uncontrollably. Seth asks what's so funny, and Summer introduces Danny as "like, the funniest guy ever." In a stilted dubbed-Japanese accent, Danny says, "Ah, I see your yellowfish is not as fresh as mine. Care to taste my albacore?" Oh, accent humor. It just never stops being funny. He then makes a series of mouth gestures to look like he's in a poorly dubbed movie. As the group shrieks with exaggerated laughter -- Anna paws at the table, and Luke, who is tearing up, enthuses that Danny is "like, straight out of a Bruce Lee movie" -- Seth watches in confusion, failing to react to the "humor." Danny asks who "took the jelly out of [Seth's] donut," then yells that someone should call CSI because they've "got a cold one." As the others continue cracking up, Danny yells, "Hey! Tag that toe!" Seth tries to rally, countering that someone should call the ER because Luke's going to bust a gut, which meets dead silence from the group. Luke's smile slowly lessens, as the others just stare at Seth, looking uncomfortably embarrassed. Seth hunches down in his seat, and Luke says, "I don't get it." Seth admires Anna's tuna (even though we all know he prefers Summer's), which he says is the same as his own: "Just raw and missing cheese." And with that, my recent pun goes to a very bad place. The group exchanges more awkward glances, and then Summer perkily announces that she's going to the bathroom before class. Danny's "Hey, don't fall in!" is met by more crazy laughter; Anna hoots and makes circling gestures in the air as if to represent the downward spiral of toilet water.

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The O.C.

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