Julie wanders into the kitchen and picks Frank's bag up off the floor, only to find it bursting with Clown Porn. I love you, Kaitlin.
Summer and Seth go on a boring date to a G.E.O.R.G.E.-related art show. Seth does not like the artsy environmental films Summer makes him watch. Neither do I. Where's the earthquake? Summer claims she just wants to see Seth get excited about something. By which she means "excited about the same things I'm excited about even though you never expect me to share your interests." She dares Seth to make a better film than the ones they're watching.
Kirsten surprises Sandy at his office. He's happy to see her, but Kirsten can only make sad faces and stare at the ground. "People in Newport are awful!" she cries. Sandy's like, "no duh." She says the people seem worse than ever, based on the future generation she saw in her yoga class. She isn't sure she wants to raise a child around people like this. Well, seeing how great Seth was doing before Ryan came into town, I don't blame her. It's a shame that it took a different child to figure that out, though. I'm sure Seth appreciates her realization, albeit nineteen years too late for him. Sandy invites her out to dinner with Spitz and his wife to restore her faith in humanity. Then he asks if he can join the Six-Pack Pack and dares his wife to punch him in his abs to test their rock hardness. Careful, Sandy! That's how Houdini died.
Ryan and Taylor watch the non-Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Taylor uses it as an example of how tragic it is when someone is too afraid to say he loves someone else. Ever-literal, Ryan says that's probably for the best, since the chances of things working out between a beautiful young woman and a hunchback who lives in a bell tower aren't great. Taylor says she's talking about bigger things than the movie, and Ryan gets the hint and tries to say he loves her... but chickens out. I think the fact that he tried should really be enough for her. Especially since they've only been dating for like six months. Also, stop basing your life decisions around men, Taylor. Go to the college you want to, not the college your boyfriend is going to. Don't be like Topanga from Boy Meets World.
After the commercial, Taylor is writing a letter to Berkeley to decline her scholarship. She also says this is also the obituary for her and Ryan's relationship. Drama queen. Summer jokingly tells Taylor to tie Ryan down and shoot him up with sodium pentathol to get him to say he loves her. Taylor, of course, thinks this is an awesome idea. Summer bargains her down to getting him drunk, courtesy of the Roberts wine cellar. Does Dr. Neil know about this? Between Julie selling off his stuff and Summer's friends drinking the rest, by the time Dr. Neil reclaims that house it's going to be empty.