Kitchen. The Big House. The camera pans in onto a wedding invitation tied with a bow, as Kirsten tromps around lamenting that Caleb and Lady Heather's nuptials are in only two weeks. Except instead of speaking in coherent sentences, she's randomly exclaiming phrases like, "Two weeks!," leading Seth to comment, as he and Ryan enter the room, "Oh! It's the Tourette's flaring up again." He sidebars to Ryan that it happens every once in a while, but that it's fine. Ryan expresses disbelief that "they're really doin' it," and Seth complains of the "unfortunate image" that "just leapt into [his] mind." Kirsten ponders their rush just ias Sandy joins the group in the kitchen and explain that they should not be surprised that Caleb and Lady Heather have taken the "shock and awe approach to courtship." He's wearing white board shorts festooned with giant orange paisleys, and his hair is slicked back. It's not his most attractive look. Kirsten whines that Sandy is being "flip" over the marriage, and Sandy scoffs that he's actually "kind of softening on the guy." He backstories that while Caleb might not be friendly, ethical, or fun, he is either generous or "in love and delusional," since the figure for which he offered to purchase The Lighthouse "ain't chump change." Why am I so sure there will be two chumps named Sandy and Jimmy by the end of this storyline? When Kirsten concludes that Caleb bought Sandy's acceptance of him, Sandy agrees: "But at a very high price!"
Sandy cheerfully changes the subject, asking Ryan how Marissa is dealing with her "new stepdad." Considering Marissa's history of mental instability and flailing about with her weapon-like elbows, it's surprising that Sandy would find humor in anything further threatening her emotional state. I, however, find all the humor in the world in her suffering. As long as it takes place offscreen. Kirsten is more earnest in asking how Marissa is doing, and Ryan points out that she agreed to be in the wedding. Sandy asks if Ryan and Marissa are back together, and Ryan volunteers that they are, and that it's "really good." Sandy marvels that, for Ryan, "really good" is "like singin' from the treetops," which led me to the mental image of a little red robin with Ryan's face perched in on a tree branch, warbling away. Seth inappropriately asks whether this means that Ryan and Theresa's relationship is over, and Ryan agrees that it is. Seth suggests that, since the issue of Ryan's love life has been resolved, they "take a step back and untangle this incestuous web that [he] like[s] to call the Julie-Caleb union." Ryan looks eager to hear how this is going to go as Seth adds that when "this bizarro knot gets tied," Lady Heather will be Sandy's mother-in-law, to which Sandy's all, "Oh," and Seth's all, "Yeah. Enjoy." When Seth continues that Lady Heather will be Kirsten's stepmother, Kirsten whines that her head is spinning. Seth further concludes, "Me and Marissa? We could be related. I don't know. I can't even do the math." I did. Last week, in fact. He says that the "real kicker" is that Lady Heather will be his grandma. He says incredulously, "My grandma wears Uggs. Think about it." Ryan grimaces and mutters, "I am thinkin' about it." But Ryan hasn't had a problem thinkin' about -- and doing more than thinkin' about -- Seth's potential grandmas in the past.