The O.C.
The Summer Bummer

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
School's Out For Summer

Back at the Cohen's, Ryan is lacing up his shoes at the poolhouse when he looks under the bed and into another fantasy, this one of Taylor Townsend soaping up the glass doors. He's interrupted by Kirsten, and that's the second time now that Ryan's had a sex fantasy while his adopted mom was nearby. Ew. Kirsten says she's hoping to audition for the role of Seth, which she expects to become vacant once Seth leaves for college. She's definitely getting off on the right foot, entering the poolhouse without knocking just like Seth does. And it's a nice gesture, but... you're his mother, Kirsten. Come on now. You can't really expect him to confide in you like he does Seth. Kirsten takes a seat and asks Ryan how best to become Seth. Ryan says she has to talk about herself a lot and then Ryan will solve his problems on his own. "Hm," Kirsten responds. She decides to do things her way instead, and asks Ryan about all the time he's been spending with Taylor lately. "Have I?" Ryan asks, his voice getting all high-pitched with denial. But he needs advice, so he tells Kirsten that he and Taylor kissed, and now he can't get her out of his mind. "That is so cute!" Kirsten gushes. "Okay, Seth never does that," Ryan says. Hee. Kirsten says that Ryan's been through a lot lately, so he deserves something good. And if that something is Taylor, he should at least be open to it. Ryan says she's right and tells her she's on the short list for being the New Seth. She smiles as if this were promising, which it isn't. There are only, like, five cast members for Ryan to choose from for his New Seth. That means everyone is on the short list.

Spencer, son of BULLET, shows up at the Roberts mansion to give Kaitlin her restrung tennis racket. Kaitlin the Klueless tries once again to flirt with him, but he's still not having it. He says he has a "no jail bait" policy. Kaitlin pronounces this "lame." You know who else thinks age of consent laws are lame? Pedophiles. I'm just saying. Spencer advises her to start dating guys her own age.

Just as the music cues up for Ryan to launch into another fantasy, the real Taylor Townsend shows up behind him. He says he can't talk and tries to run away, but she calls him back, saying she isn't at the Promenade to stalk him; she's covering for Seth at the comic books store while he's in Rhode Island. Interesting substitute policy there, comic books store. Taylor apologizes to Ryan for kissing him the other night. He says it's cool while looking extremely uncomfortable. Taylor doesn't seem to notice and says she's relieved, because a lot of times when she kisses a guy, he ends up crying because she tends to be a "biter." I'll bet this gets her out of having to perform oral sex. Remembering Kirsten's advice, Ryan asks Taylor what her plans are for tonight. Not quite getting it, she says she's going to update her blog, which is all about the "erotic memoirs of a soulful college girl," even though Taylor's not in college anymore and most times, those things are written by forty-five year-old men claiming to be college girls. Plus I'm pretty sure Summer's roommate has already cornered the market on that kind of thing. Ryan makes his intentions a little more obvious, and she realizes what he's doing and decides to forget about that blog for the time being. Her answer is "YES2! " They decide to have a really lame date in the comic book store because that means the show doesn't have to pay for a new set.

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The O.C.




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