Summer enters Seth's bedroom, but he's not there. How did she get into the house, though? If Sandy or Kirsten let her in, surely they would have told her that Seth was in Rhode Island. So she must have walked right in when no one was home. I can't wait for the Very Special Episode where the Cohens get their asses robbed. Summer calls Seth, who's standing in her empty Brown room, wondering where she is. Again, how did he get in there? Did Amber let him in? And then not tell him that Summer wasn't there? Oh, who cares? Moving on, Summer tells Seth about how Bright got her kicked out of school. Seth says he knows what to do. He's going to hurt Bright. Summer thinks he's kidding, but Seth says he's going to "go so Ryan Atwood on [his] ass." Summer makes a few disapproving comments, but you know she finds the idea of her man avenging her honor to be totally hot.
After telling Ryan not to tell Sandy about her intention to be the next Seth, Kirsten went and told Sandy about it herself, and now he's in the Poolhouse trying to get the job, even bringing Ryan his morning coffee to bribe him. Ryan says he doesn't need advice anymore; he handled the Taylor thing last night, although probably not the best possible way. He gets more animated than I think I've ever seen him on this show as he says that at first, he thought the problem was that he was too invested in Volchok to be able to have a relationship. Then he thought maybe Taylor was too weird for him. But now he's thinking that the problem is him. "Maybe it's too soon," he says. Sandy says Ryan and Taylor can just be casual. There's no need to plunge into a relationship. Wait, what? Why that... that would almost be realistic! Ryan agrees to take Sandy's advice, figuring he doesn't have any other choice since Taylor Townsend is in the opening credits and therefore pretty difficult to avoid for the rest of the season. Sandy says he'll be in his room reading comics and listening to indie rock. Ryan compliments his Seth-acting abilities. Not me, though. I believe that should be emo rock, not indie rock. And those aren't "comics," they're "graphic novels."
Summer spent the night sleeping outside on her chaise lounge with Pancakes. She and Seth talk over the phone again, and Seth is ready to knock some sense into Bright. His first plan was to pull a Julie (how did he know she did that? I guess he read the script) and smother Bright with a pillow while he was asleep, but Bright spent last night at some lame candlelight vigil. So now he's just going to kick Bright's door in. He does, and it's pretty awesome. Brown might want to consider buying some stronger doors, though, if one kick from Seth can blow them open. "This place reeks of incense and righteousness," Seth proclaims. Summer says that's Bright's "musk," and I don't want to know anything more about that. Bright isn't in his room, nor, Seth says, was Summer's roommate last night. "That's because she's a huge slut," Summer says. Since Seth probably slept on Amber's bed last night (Summer's doesn't have any bedding on it, and I don't know about you, but I can't sleep unless I'm swathed in linens!), I'll bet that's not something he really wanted to know. Come to think of it, Brown's student body really isn't getting a great showing here. We've got one girl who uses environmental activism to escape from reality, another girl who sleeps around and calls it a sociology experiment, and Bright, who is a tool of the first order. Seth finds something on Bright's bed. "What's this?" he asks. Summer says she doesn't know, as she is only on the phone and therefore can't see. It's a DVD addressed to Seth. He pops it into a laptop that I guess belongs to Summer's roommate? It's in Summer's room and it isn't Summer's, so that's what I'll go with. Apparently, sluts don't have the right to expect people not to use their things without asking. Bright, doing his best Osama Bin Laden impression, pops up on the screen and says he's heard of Seth's mission against him and he will be in hiding until everyone calms down, as he is a pacifist (a.k.a. wimp). Seth resolves to hunt Bright down, but Summer would rather have him home with her instead.