Back from commercial, Kaitlin is telling someone on the phone (this show is, like, 60% phone conversations) to circle the block with the kegs until she can get her mother out of the house. This proves to be quite simple, as Julie is packing up for a weekend at The Montage with Kirsten and Sandy. Way to not even tell your daughter you were leaving for an entire weekend, there, Mother of the Year. No wonder your kids keep dying! Kaitlin asks if Kirsten and Sandy are "spicing up" their marriage with a sprinkling of Julie, and Julie asks her daughter how old she is, since threesomes are subjects only people of a certain age should be discussing. Kaitlin says she'll be fine on her own for the weekend, and Julie says that she's leaving Taylor Townsend and Summer in charge. Kaitlin didn't even know Summer was home. At this point, Summer leads Bright through the kitchen to get him some water. Julie and Kaitlin watch them pass and exchange matching "Summer's friend smells like Nag Champa and dirt. Ew." looks.
Summer and Bright continue on to the kitchen so Bright can have some water before he dehydrates. Way to fall for that, Summer. She accuses Bright of being a liar, a chicken, a snake, and a rat. Not to mention whatever animal gets dehydrated really easily. Bright says that those are all "God's creatures" and just as fallible as he is. He made a mistake. Summer doesn't agree; Bright deliberately used her. True. But Bright says he needs her forgiveness to survive, like Summer should really care about his welfare at this point, and requests a "truth circle" on the front lawn. Summer says that truth circles, petitions, and tree-chainings won't work on her, and then Bright handcuffs himself to her. He says he will not unlock the handcuffs until they are done healing. Summer should just call the cops. And a locksmith. Doesn't Bright have finals to worry about?
Sandy is loving his anniversary trip to The Montage until Kirsten tells him that there are a few strings attached -- strings named Julie and BULLET. Kirsten refers to them as a "small wrinkle," and Julie immediately regrets driving Dr. Neil away from Newport and therefore losing her best plastic surgeon. Kirsten promises Sandy she'll make everything up to him later tonight. In the bedroom. Hopefully off-camera.
Taylor and Roger head into Taylor's bedroom, where they find Summer unpacking her stuff with one hand and handcuffed to Bright with the other. Greetings are exchanged, and Summer informs Taylor that she's reclaiming her room and Taylor will be sleeping in the guest room from now on. Taylor congratulates Summer on her new kinky sexual proclivities, bringing a scrubby dirty hippie into the bedroom with her and Seth. Summer denies this, and she and Bright start fighting, so Taylor decides to take her leave of them. Then they hear a noise downstairs.