The noise is five kegs being rolled across the foyer. Summer and Taylor manage to lecture Kaitlin and try to figure out which one of them is the house's alpha female. Neither issue is really resolved. Bright says he can "entertain" Kaitlin's party guests with "some festive tribal music," and I almost kind of like him again. Then he says that the didgeridoo is in the car, and I hate him once more. Kaitlin pronounces Bright a freak and refuses to buy into his crap. Summer refuses to acknowledge Bright's existence. Kaitlin tells the Wards to keep rolling the kegs outside. Summer and Taylor yell at her again, while Roger starts helping the Clown Ward lift the keg. Looks like the alpha female here is Kaitlin.
Ha! Ryan is flicking through the channels when an ad for True Life Skanks of Sherman Oaks: The Real Valley comes on. Now there's a meta reference I like! On another channel is Taylor, wearing rollerskates and asking Ryan to ride with her. But the fantasy is once again interrupted, this time by Seth, home from Rhode Island. He complains about having to watch the same in-flight movie three times and updates Ryan on Summer's school suspension. He says he's heading over to Summer's house right now. Ryan asks if he can go, too, because Taylor will be there, and Ryan likes Taylor. Seth is shocked and appalled, but Ryan says he keeps imagining Taylor on rollerskates with buckets of soapy water. "Your fantasies are so pedestrian," Seth says. "Doesn't mean [they're] not hot," Ryan counters. I doubt he'd talk to either of the New Seth candidates like this.
Kaitlin's party is in full swing. Clown Ward does a keg stand while Taylor passes out board games and begs the guests to "get high on life." This gets her a face full of water, as well it should. Meanwhile, Summer and Bright walk past a couple making out on Summer's favorite tanning chair. Bright hands them a condom and doesn't Summer find it a bit weird that Bright just happens to have a condom in his pocket like that? What was he expecting out of tonight? We cut to a duplicate shot of Clown Ward doing his keg stand to end the scene.
And where is Kaitlin? She's playing "Seven Minutes in Heaven." Sometimes Kaitlin acts like she's thirty-five, and sometimes, like now, she acts like she's eleven. Lea exits the closet with the Cute Ward and Kaitlin picks a name out of a hat. It's Connor, Riley's boyfriend who ditched Riley's party to come here. This seems like quite the coup for Kaitlin until she and Connor get in the closet and Connor starts trying to have a conversation with Kaitlin instead of making out with her. When Kaitlin kisses him, he looks absolutely terrified, and Kaitlin asks him if he's gay. "I don't think so," Connor says. "Sweetheart, you're so gay," Kaitlin says.