The O.C.
The Swells

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Welcome To The Marissa Show, Bitch!

Sandy and Kirsten see Ryan off for his first day back at Harbor, adorably nervous and excited for him. I'll bet his invisible tutor doesn't feel this way, now that her money train has stopped. Ryan promises that he won't get in any trouble (which not even he cane believe, at this point), and then he and Seth are off. "Just you and me," Kirsten tells Sandy, posing sexily on the counter. "How 'bout another cuppa coffee?" Sandy replies cluelessly. They walk outside with their coffees and sit down to discuss the Newport Group. Somehow, I don't think this is what Kirsten had in mind when she was thinking about how she and Sandy had a whole day alone together. Sandy has a meeting with some potential buyers tomorrow, but he wants to make sure Kirsten is totally okay with letting it go before he does. She is.

Seth and Summer walk along the beautiful grounds of Harbor and discuss their favorite topic: Ryan and Marissa. Because when we focus on other people's relationship issues, we don't have to worry about our own, like how we've barely touched each other since the season premiere -- right, guys? Summer thinks Ryan and Marissa are heading for another breakup, and she's worried that Marissa will disappear from their lives and be swallowed up by Newport Union, which she claims is like a "Bermuda Triangle." Really though, it's a miracle that Marissa hasn't been swallowed by the cracks in the sidewalk yet. Summer thinks the solution to Ryan and Marissa's relationship difficulties is for them to spend more time together. Then Ryan joins them and grouses that he has a lot of work to catch up on, and will probably have to spend the entire weekend doing it. Summer tells him that's impossible, since the Cohens have invited her and Marissa over for dinner tonight. Which they didn't, but I'm sure Sandy will roll with Summer's latest wacky plan, like he did last week. And it's not like he's got anything else to do all day, alone in the house with his horny wife. Ryan thinks Marissa needs space, but Seth and Summer disagree. And Ryan will listen to them, since they're both so good at relationships themselves. When Summer isn't telling Seth to get his cootie-infested hand off of her, that is.

The three step up to Harbor's in-house Starbucks and order coffees, only to have their morning ruined by the appearance of Taylor Townsend, none the worse for wear after losing her boyfriend to Sandy and Summer's recent machinations. She's rebounding nicely by planning a mandatory senior class lock-in the next night. And while I could consider the logistics of throwing such an event at the last minute and making it mandatory when I'm sure some students' parents wouldn't sign the necessary permission slip, that would take too long and is futile besides, so I won't. Taylor Townsend reminds Ryan that he can't afford to get in trouble by skipping the lock-in, and he gives Taylor Townsend an insincere smile-and-point as he promises to be there. Which is exactly how you know that he won't. "SUPER!" Taylor Townsend cries, adding that they will enjoying s'mores: she had the idea of using bunsen burners for campfires. "Oh my god! That's genius!" Seth says, hilariously sarcastic. Although I'm wondering if he isn't just jealous that he didn't think of it first. Taylor Townsend recruits Seth and Ryan to help her set up for the event, saying that they owe her for helping Ryan to get back into school. Yes, because she had nothing to do with getting him kicked out of it in the first place. And yet, neither Seth nor Ryan protests this or refuses to help, even though they have every right to, since it's not like Dean Evil's around to threaten them with locker room cleaning detentions or anything like that. Those boys are whipped. All three kids mourn the loss of their weekend.

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The O.C.

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