The O.C.
The Telenovela

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Finding Emo

Carefree music plays as Seth and Ryan walk through the outside hallways of Harbor School, and Seth asks for the zillionth time in twenty episodes what the deal is with Marissa. When Ryan explains that he and Marissa aren't seeing each other, Seth is unsatisfied, pointing out that they "will see each other, of course. You know? At school, every day, for the next couple years." Ryan simply says that they'll just go back to being friends, and Seth -- pausing to caress a pillar in a slightly unsettling way -- asks when Marissa and Ryan actually were friends -- when Ryan was beating up Luke, or when Ryan was spooning Marissa in a Tijuana motel? He waggles an accusatory finger at Ryan, who asks if that means he and Marissa can't be friends now. Ryan answers his own question: "Think I'll have to see her today?" Not if she turns sideways, I don't.

Summer and Marissa are also at Harbor School, having exactly the same conversation, as characters tend to do on this show. Summer asks what Ryan and Marissa will do together as friends:"Lift weights? Try on wifebeaters?" She flatly states that guys like Ryan aren't friends with girls, and Marissa warbles that she doesn't want to be his friend, but that after OliverGate, she has to show Ryan that he can trust her. She doesn't even know, though, if he'll want to be friends. Then, in an earth-shattering turn of events, Marissa manages to stop talking about herself long enough to ask Summer a question about Summer! Summer tells her that things with Seth are weird: "In public, he's like this huge geek who mumbles," and she doesn't even know what he says half the time; under the sheets, though, "he's like, the anti-Cohen." Wait. I thought they were going to take things slow? Continuity aside, Summer echoes Ryan: "Do you think I'll have to see him today?"

We return to Ryan and Seth's conversation as Seth comments that he and Summer are finally "over the hump, by the way...so to speak." He just hopes she can "keep it in her trousers" when she sees Seth. And unless there's something we don't know about Summer, that expression doesn't really work for the girls. And I hope she'll keep it in her trousers, too, if there is something that could actually be pulled out of her trousers. Pushing that aside (ew), Seth suggests that Summer will soon have her "paws" all over him. He's really not painting the most flattering picture of Summer, is he? Seth's cell phone interrupts before Summer ends up with prominent facial hair and a club foot; the call is from a 909 area code, which perplexes Seth. Not Ryan, though, who grabs the phone. It's Theresa, and we see a shot of her sitting cross-legged on a bed; she explains that she got the number from Kirsten. Ryan awkwardly asks if everything is okay, and she says that everything is fine, but that she's coming out to Newport today. He asks if it's for work, and she claims it is, but that she won't be working the whole time and wondered if they could hang out together tonight. Ryan non-emotively agrees that they can, and she tells him not to sound so excited. When he explains that he's just surprised, she's all, "You know me. Full of surprises." We hear sounds in the background as Theresa twitches around looking sketchy. She says she'll come by after dinner, just as Eric Balfour -- who we will later learn is named "Eddie" -- emerges from the shower, all wet and shiny. Theresa hurries to shove a suitcase under the bed and out of his eyesight; she explains that the call was a wrong number.

Ryan, meanwhile, is more forthcoming with Seth; he explains that the call was from Theresa, who is in town to hang out "as a friend." Seth gleefully nods and responds, "First Marissa, then Theresa. Who knew Ryan Atwood was so friendly?" Hee.

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The O.C.

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