The O.C.
The Telenovela

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Back at The Big House, Sandy asks about Kirsten's involvement with Uncle Sean as she unloads the usual takeout. How do these people order that much food and not weigh three hundred pounds? Kirsten explains that he spends most of his time out of the office with the crews, suppliers, and inspectors. Sandy suggests that you have to be a "hard-ass" to deal with those "characters," and Kirsten is sure Sean "can be persuasive" when necessary. Sandy's all, "Convincing argument 'persuasive' or baseball bat 'persuasive'?" Kirsten dodges the subject to say she understands if Sandy doesn't want to help; in fact, she never thought he would. Seth enters the kitchen, and Kirsten tells him that she has "slaved over hot takeout containers," and dinner is ready. Sandy asks where Ryan is, and Ryan appears. (I'll have to try that some time. How about now? "Where's Adam Brody?" Huh. Didn't work. I'll try again. "Where is Adam Brody?" Sigh. How disappointing.) In any case, Ryan is followed by Theresa, and Sandy licks his lips in her direction. No, really. He does. Ryan makes introductions and Seth's all, "Hello, friend!" Theresa admires the food and confidently asks if she can help. Kirsten explains that the "key is taking the food out of the Styrofoam containers," and Sandy chimes in to add, "But her real specialty is ordering."

Seth pulls Ryan aside to ask what's going on, telling him not to say nothing because it's something. Ryan flatly says, "She's engaged," and Seth commends him on "mak[ing] quick work of the ladies." Ryan explains about how Eddie showed up looking for her, and Seth can't close his surprised mouth.

Sandy and Kirsten pull Seth aside to ask the same question, repeating the whole nothing/something bit. Seth agrees that it's indeed something and declares, "Parents, what we have here is our very own telenovela." He explains that it's a Spanish-language soap opera and adds, "I do hope Isabel gets Victor. I do love his handlebar mustache." Sandy, meanwhile, groans, "Ay. Dios mio. Hee.

Meanwhile, at the Non-Beautiful Blue Bachelor Pad, Marissa mopes on the couch with the remote. From the television, we hear, "Previously on The Valley," and some dialogue in which someone yells at someone not to hurt someone else. Jimmy enters with takeout of their very own and asks what she's doing; he thought she'd be with Ryan? When she reveals that Ryan is busy with his "friend" Theresa, Jimmy asks whether she's okay with that. She says it's not a big deal, but Jimmy insists that it is, because it's important to her. What's important to her, she says, is not talking about it, because she really is fine and it's "just...high school." He says that's supposed to be his line, and that she's supposed to be talking about how Ryan's the most important thing in the world and she can't live without him and blah. And thank God we don't have to endure Mischa Barton attempting to deliver those lines. In any case, Marissa insists that they're just friends, or trying to be. At the risk of embarrassing her, Jimmy says, she and Ryan were never friends; she snits that she's heard. She asks what her options are if they can't be friends, and he says she needs to let Ryan know what she wants to be. Let's hope it's not an actress.

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The O.C.

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