The O.C.
The Telenovela

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Finding Emo

Back at The Big House, we join the meal just as Theresa is detailing a time when they were all dressed up for her brother's sixteenth birthday. Ryan cuts her off to ask if she has any stories that don't involve him falling down or getting injured. Seth eagerly asks if Ryan fell down when he did musicals, and a gleeful Sandy pipes up, "You did musicals? I did a musical or two myself in college!" Kirsten whines that someone should stop him before he starts singing "Greased Lightnin'," but Seth encourages him: "Do it, Dad. Travolta's your bitch." Sandy thanks his son, but, sadly, does not jump on the table and pretend it's a car or a woman or whatever that song's really about. Theresa continues her story, which takes place in the revolving restaurant of a Holiday Inn, but she's interrupted again, this time by the doorbell. Everyone looks anxious, for some reason, as well they should since it turns out to be Marissa, who Kirsten calls "sweetie." She hopefully asks if Ryan is home, then follows Kirsten into the dining room just as Seth professes his love for revolving restaurants and Sandy is all, "Who doesn't? Motion and digestion? Unbeatable combination!" Kirsten makes with the awkward "Look who's here!" and Sandy's head looks like it's about to unscrew from all the looking back and forth and back and forth. He zestfully asks if everyone knows each other, and they sure do! When Sandy asks if she's hungry, Marissa announces that she's starving; is it okay if she joins them? Ryan rushes to get her a place; she sits and asks, "So. What's everyone talking about?" Dead silence ensues.

The next morning, Seth enters the pool house bearing the telephone. When he announces that it's Eddie, Ryan waves it off, which works out, since Eddie has hung up anyway. Seth's all, "So, um, dinner last night? Entertaining for the rest of us, but...." Ryan's all, "Last night?" like nothing eventful happened, and Seth explains, "The whole, uh, dinner theatre telenovela thing you performed?" Ryan asks, "Tela....novela?" in a delivery that's more like, "Tela...nowhatnow?" Seth explains, "Spanish-language sudser. Telemundo, dude. Television. Victor? With the sexy handlebar mustache?" Comprehende? Ryan's all, "Nada." Hee. Seth asks whether Ryan still thinks of himself as the "friend guy," "befriending any tall beautiful woman who cares to dine with us?" He then says he's speaking from personal experience in pointing out that "the triangle's, uh, not a friendly shape. Okay? It's pointed. It's got sharp edges. Triangles hurt people, man." Ryan insists that there is no triangle, because he and Marissa aren't together and Theresa's just in Newport for work. Seth rebuts that both girls still obviously have feelings for Ryan, and that the only thing that's not obvious is how Ryan feels. When Ryan says it's complicated, Seth agrees that it is, "by the fact that there's an Eddie, and this Eddie still obviously has feelings for Theresa." Seth concludes that Eddie's existence makes the romantic triangle more of a "romantic rhombus." Ryan asks what he should do, and Seth doesn't know, but suggests that he do something soon, because otherwise someone will get hurt, and judging from Eddie's phone voice, that someone will probably be Ryan.

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The O.C.

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