The O.C.
The Ties That Bind

Episode Report Card
Joanna: A | 1 USERS: A+
The Honeymoon Is Over

I've never thought men should wear shorts, and the next scene is proof: Seth stands next to Random Boat Boy, who we saw earlier. Seth sports khaki pants and looks typically charming; Random Boat Boy sports shorts and looks like Dorf. When Random Boat Boy reveals that the boat's buyer backed out, Seth is indignant about the dissolution of their deal and says he really needs the money. Random Boat Boy points out that the buyer will have it in a few months, but Seth needs it right now! Random Boat Boy apologizes and walks away, and he should stop payment right now on the checks for the acting lessons from Mischa Barton, because they are not paying off. Meanwhile, Seth mumbles that it figures, since that's the way things have been going for him lately.

Seth heads into a diner to join Marissa and Summer. He announces that he has a plan: since no one, including Ryan, wants Ryan to leave, they'll make him stay by all getting jobs, pooling their salaries, and getting an apartment in the numbered streets. Why don't they just set up a lemonade stand or an advice booth or something? That would be so much easier. When Marissa points out that Theresa wants to be with her family, and that Ryan has to be with her, Seth yelps that he's not just letting Ryan go! Summer thinks there's nothing else they can do short of kidnapping him, and Marissa insists that she'd do something if she could. Well, if Marissa got pregnant, then Ryan would have to stay to help her, right? Now there's a solution I'd expect from Marissa. Seth snits that Marissa has done enough already, and then gives all of us Seth-lovers even more reason to adore him by laying into Marissa for the Oliver fiasco; he whines that all she ever did was "drag that kid into your messed-up life." Dang! Except yay! Instead of defending herself in a rational way, Marissa counters with the accusation that "all [Seth] ever did was use [Ryan] to pick up girls and get out of fights." In lashing out at Seth, Marissa appears even more ridiculously self-centered than ever. Summer tries to mediate as Seth snits off that he's got to get ready for the wedding, and he doesn't care what happens as long as Marissa is cool with Ryan leaving.

Sandy enters the pool house as Ryan packs. He explains the timeline for the wedding pending Kirsten's readiness, and then cracks, "It is a mystery to me what goes on in that bathroom." Ryan asks if they'll be done by 6, since he told Theresa to pick him up then. Sandy takes this in without a reaction, so we know he knows that Ryan is leaving. Sandy announces that, as Ryan's guardian, he can stop him. Ryan knows that, but counters that Sandy won't, because if he taught Ryan anything, it's to do what it takes to protect his family. I thought that was Jimmy's MO? These writers need to get their stories straight. And while Sandy is an excellent father, I would think he would have also taught Ryan kindness and patience and open-mindedness in equal measure, but I guess none of those went with this particular plotline. Ryan announces that Theresa is his family now, but Sandy insists that the Cohens are his family, too. He announces that Theresa and Ryan can both stay with the Cohens, and that they'll make it work "as a family." Aw. Aw! Ryan can't ask them to do that, though, because the Cohens have already done more than Ryan could have asked of anyone. Sandy grins that he told him once already that he could have done worse. Indeed. Kids do worse with their biological parents every day. Ryan huskily points out that when Sandy took him in, Ryan had no family and no hope, and that he doesn't want his kid to grow up the same way. Sandy earnestly declares, "Well, just 'cause you're leavin'...doesn't mean I'm lettin' you go." While watching this scene, I determine that Ben McKenzie plucks his eyebrows; as we all well know, Peter Gallagher does not. Sandy lightens the mood by hurrying Ryan to dress so that they might witness the "most unholy of all unions."

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The O.C.




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