The O.C.
The Ties That Bind

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Joanna: A | 1 USERS: A+
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The Honeymoon Is Over

At the Harbor School, Marissa is interrogating Ryan about how he feels; she then presses about when the abortion will take place, and Ryan only knows that it's soon. He sits back and sighs, and Marissa says the stupidest of all stupid things ever by claiming, "Well, then at least everything can go back to normal." Whom will things be normal for, again? That's right! Marissa! She qualifies that nothing is ever normal in Newport, though, which might be because she's always over-dramatizing everything. Still, Ryan agrees that life will be "more normal than this." The two exchange sweet smiles, and Marissa proposes that they spend the summer just being normal. Ryan asks, "We're not going to hold Seth to that, are we?" That's the joke right there, people, but the writers see fit to attempt to have Marissa cash in on an easy punchline: "No, no that would be impossible." But it doesn't work, writers! We just hate her more! Marissa explains that she was talking about just the two of them, and then grabs the back of his head in a vise-like grip to draw him in for a death kiss.

Caleb leads a blindfolded Lady Heather through Versailles-like gardens and past a huge fountain featuring cherubs. Frogs would have been more appropriate, but I'm sure Lady Heather will make some changes later. She giddily suggests that they save the blindfold for later, to which Caleb leers, "Good to know." He removes the blindfold, and she stares gape-mouthed at what's before her; shortly, we are also gape-mouthed as the camera pans around to reveal what is essentially a palace. It's got verandas and porticos and all kinds of other architectural crap that I don't know anything about. I know that it's big and I know that it's fancy. And that the grounds have really, really green grass. Lady Heather echoes my "palace" sentiment, and Caleb proudly declares it "fit for a queen." But "Queen Heather" doesn't have quite the same ring to it, so we'll stick with "Lady Heather" for now.

At the docks, Seth removes the tarp from his boat, cooing that he missed it, and that it's been too long. When Ryan points out that he's talking to a boat, Seth responds that he talks to a plastic horse, too, but that never worries anyone. Ryan says, "It worried me." Hee. Seth fishes a compass out of his gear and explains that it will lead him to Tahiti. Ryan asks what happened to that plan, and Seth admits that when Ryan came, Seth "suddenly had less reason to flee." Aw. Seth boasts that he could have made the trip in forty-two days, and Ryan laments that they'll never know now. And why not? Is there an expiration date on traveling to Tahiti? Seth announces that the Summer Breeze is "back in action," and I'll bet he's wishing the same could be said about Summer. He suggests a trip to Catalina with their "ladies," and Ryan perks up at the thought; he suggests catching fresh fish right off the side of the boat and cooking them right there. And I can so see Marissa and Summer getting into that. Except totally not. Ryan says that the trip sounds good, and then amends that it sounds great.

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The O.C.

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