For some reason, Seth and Ryan are still carrying their bags, because what better way to blow off school than by playing hooky armed with the Introduction To High School Social Studies textbook your mother covered for you in cut-up brown paper shopping bags. How do moms always know how to do that? Apparently, Ryan and Seth have pussed out after all, like two little girls in 50\% pink shirts, and they're going to brave the elements after all. As they make their way through the house, Seth reminds Ryan that, whatever happens today, "the Ryan/Seth team is back in action. Together there's nothing we can't face." Except for wacky juxtaposition, which is soon to rear its beefcake-y self in the form of a construction worker moving all of the Cohens' earthly goods into the middle of the kitchen. "I'm movin' to Portland," Seth mutters, because the writers on this show think that the mere concept of "Oregon" is inherently hilarious in a way that the rest of us reserve for being amused by really funny things like the way old people smell or the notion of midgets dancing.
Seth and Ryan make their way into the kitchen, where Sandy "Counsel Will Please Approach The Mensch" Cohen bids the boys a chipper good morning. Kirsten "Blonde Ambition" Cohen stands around as well as Seth asks if his parents will fill him in on "this whole remodeling thing again." I will never forgive the two of them for not watching last week's episode or reading the recap, because if they were a little more conscious of their own show's backstory, we literally could have cut all that crap out and started this episode approximately riiiiight...now. Archie The Contractor -- on whatever planet "Archie The Contactor" is cast-list-ese for "glorified extra" -- promises that they'll have all of the crap out of the kitchen by dinner. Before Archie is given so much screen time that he moves to the big city and opens his own greasy spoon in a spin-off called Archie The Contractor's Place, the phone rings and a fight ensues about who will be answering it. Kirsten calls for Sandy to get it, but he's cream cheesing a bagel and argues that he's "mid-shmear." It's almost like it's important for his character to make the point that he's Jewish, for some reason. "If I could find it, maybe I'd answer it." With which Archie The Contactor holds up the phone in front of Sandy's face. Well done, Archie. It's that kind of focus and tenacity that's going to help you make it in the food services industry after all.