The O.C.
The Way We Were

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Big Zach Attack

Kirsten takes the phone and says "hello" several times before announcing, "They hung up." Because no phone is equipped with the power of called ID because it's 1950. Also, I was fascinated to note that this point never again came up in the episode. How achingly vérité, to just get a hang-up and move on with your lives. Archie sympathizes with what Kirsten has just gone through, sharing, "I hate it when they do that." And when he has the laugh track and the supporting cast behind him, Archie's going to expand upon that comment, explaining, "You know why they do that? Because you know who runs the phone company? The Jews." That irrepressible Archie. Such a lovable curmudgeon he is.

Kirsten moves on to more matronly topics, reminding Seth and Ryan that they have to check in at some office when they get to school. Kirsten adds that Sandy will be going with them, which stops him mid-shmear to be all, "Oy! It's a shanda, with the scheduling shpilkis I'm getting from you, with the driving and the flagen." Actually, what he really says is, "I thought you were gonna take them." Sandy and Kirsten snipe at each other that they both have meetings, and the phone rings again with an urgent call for Sandy from the office that leads him to conclude that he has to go. So does Kirsten. Archie hilariously jumps in, "You want me to take 'em?" Oh, Archie! Come to think of it, that would also be kind of a good name for the show.

O.C.H.S. Seth and Ryan jump out the back of Archie's flatbread truck, because...hilarious! Seth frets that this is not an auspicious way to start the school year, and Ryan reassures him that he's sure no one saw them. No one, of course, except for Marissa "If She Were A Town On Long Island, She Would Totally Be Skineola" Cooper and Summer "If She Were A Town On Long Island, She Would Be The One Where All The Spoiled Princesses Live...Also Known As 'All Of Them'" Roberts. They stand steps away from the front of the school, watching their long-lost fake boyfriends saunter back into view. Each of Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice (damn, but that reference would carry so much more weight if I'd actually, like, ever seen that movie) whisper, "Oh, my god," and Marissa runs up to Ryan and hugs him greedily, perhaps because she really is so delirious with hunger she thinks that he's Poppin' Fresh. When he shows up to his first class missing a chunk of his arm in the shape of a cinnamon bun, we shall know for sure. Summer, however, registers a look of horror and takes off, with Seth quickly giving chase. Left alone, Marissa asks Ryan what he's doing here, and he volunteers, "I'm back." She doesn't understand -- these problems are too heavy to just pick up and throw in the pool -- and she wants to know what happened with Theresa. He volunteers only that it's a "long story," but since she's got all the time in the world between her maximum security iPod grounding and not going to Cardio Bar, Marissa responds, "I want to hear it if you want to tell me." Ryan suggests, "After school?" which she happily proclaims "a date." Awwww. Love means never having to say I'm hungry. Or so I've heard the old expression goes.

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The O.C.

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