Go tell Aunt Rhody -- Dwight joyfully rolls into the DM-Scranton office bearing a very large, very dead goose, which he plops onto the reception desk, much to Pam's dismay. Apparently, he ran over it on the way to work, and he's all excited about cooking it up as a treat for the office. "It's a Christmas miracle!" he grins. Thanks for getting that out of the way early. Jim comes up to make a few mocking comments that go right over Dwight's head, because Dwight's on his way to get his carving knife. But Toby arrives, takes in the scene, and moans, "Aw, Dwight, we talked about this." "This is different," Dwight protests. "He's already dead." It's much funnier when they just let you imagine the back story rather than going out of their way to explain it to you, so I'm going to pretend that's what happens here. Dwight explains to the growing crowd about the tastiness of the meat and the utility of the goose-grease. Phyllis likes goose and asks if it's crazy to eat it. Creed says it's crazy. I can't decide if that makes it more or less crazy. Toby again tells Dwight the bird's got to go, but Dwight begs Toby until Toby finally agrees, on the condition that Dwight cleans it in his car. I'm sure Dwight would much rather clean it in Andy's car, but he'll take what he can get.
Michael makes a big show out of riding a ten-speed bike out of the elevator into the office, only bumping into something and cursing once the whole way. He wants to make sure everyone sees him put the bike next to the toy drive barrel, which they do, but I don't think he wants Jim and Kevin figure out that it's Michael's old bike. At least not as quickly as they do. Pam hands Michael a big gift bag from Corporate, and he's happy to not only receive a special gift, but also hear that not everybody got one. Makes it that much more special, you know.
We then see Michael in his office, wearing the gift: a new, brown, plush bathrobe with the Dunder Mifflin logo stitched on the breast. Retail value: $65. Hell, yes, I looked it up. He THs about how Carol is coming to the office Christmas party and he's got a surprise for her: "Two tickets to paradise," complete with an annoying imitation Eddie Money performance and an only slightly less annoying product placement for Sandals. He talks about the free drinks. Michael really does not get what "all-inclusive" means.
Creed comes in, snagging a toy from the bin. Jim explains how it's actually supposed to work, and Creed heartily brogues, "And a happy holiday to you," as he blows right past him with the toy still in hand. Good choice of number two, there, Jan. Carol comes in, looking for Michael. And she doesn't appear to be in a good mood, not that Michael notices this when he comes out and calls her a "blonde" for being five hours early to the party. He introduces her to the bullpen, adding, "This is just the front of her" and trying to get her to turn around. They're having a whispered argument about that when Andy smoothly says that Carol's even prettier than Michael described. "I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you described her," Dwight one-ups. Carol just wants a minute alone with Michael. Michael completely misinterprets what she means by that.