The Office

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M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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The Actor's Nightmare

During the second act, Michael sneaks a swig from his wine bottle, then has to pass it around to Darryl, Meredith, and Kevin, at least for starters. Andy's checking his e-mails in the wings, hoping for a last-minute "break a leg" or an "I still love you." He tucks the phone back into his pocket, assuaging my fears that he was going to miss his cue, but what will happen is so much worse. Creed, meanwhile, is out in the lobby, phoning in a vicious theater review like he's in The Front Page.

Andy comes on stage and is in the middle of a scene when a cell phone starts ringing somewhere in the theater. The actor playing Sweeney Todd tries to ad lib about a bird to cover it and gets a laugh (and a "how is that funny?" from Michael), but of course the ringing phone is in Andy's pocket because the idiot forgot to turn it off after checking his messages. Andy tries to cover as well, saying he closed the bird's beak. Michael's the only one who laughs that time. When Andy's phone chirps the voice-mail notification, he completely goes off the rails, saying he killed the bird, which makes him a murderer just like Sweeney Todd, although Andy admits that his character doesn't know that yet. "His character" is also speaking in an American accent, strangely enough. The entire audience cringes until Sweeney Todd forcefully drags the scene back on track. But then it derails again when Michael loses both his balloons and his wine bottle, the latter of which starts noisily rolling down the floor all the way to the front row. And by the time it stops, his balloons start popping, up against the hot lights. A baby starts crying at the noise. "Sounds like Cece," Pam says as the house lights come up, because every crying baby sounds like yours. But in this case, it's because the crying baby is hers; there's Erin, in the back of the house, with the baby wrapped in blankets. Jim and Pam get up and rush her out.

Andy excitedly THs, "That's really irresponsible of Erin. She's a terrible babysitter!"

After the ads, Jim and Pam both yell at Erin, and decline her kind offer to take Cece home so they can stay for the rest of the play. "We're never leaving the house again," Jim says as they head out. "Not together!" Pam agrees. Okay, so now which one of them is leaving the show?

During the curtain call, Andy beams at Erin in the back of the house, and Sweeney Todd gets a standing O. Stanley's pissed about having to get up, but Michael actually boos. So much for being the bigger man.

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The Office

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