Everyone gathers in the warehouse for the game. Roy and Pam share a big smooch, to the intense discomfort of Jim, who manages to be standing right there for it. And then, as Michael starts his speech, we see Dwight, who...dude. Dwight is wearing one of those face-protecting plastic masks, of course, and it makes him look even more like he's half-robot than he normally does. Michael gives a lame speech, Jim and Roy shake hands, and we are off.
Michael assigns himself to cover Roy, and when Jim says he thought maybe he'd do that, Michael "counters" that Roy is the best player on the warehouse squad. Dwight will cover "the East German gal." Dwight enthusiastically peels off his shirt, announcing, "We'll be skins!" Everyone is horrified at his pasty form, and he is coaxed back into his "Anime Expo" shirt. Barely less embarrassing. Pam, to her discomfort, is in charge of the jump ball. When it goes to Stanley, Michael immediately learns that Stanley dribbles bent-over with one floppy hand while holding the other behind his back. Michael loudly trumpets his disbelief, because...he thought that...Stanley would be...better at basketball? Next, you'll tell me Stanley can't dance!
So basketball ensues. Roy and Jim are both pretty good, and when Jim puts a particularly pretty move down to get past Roy, Pam can't resist giving a little whoop. Uh-oh! Dwight hits a nice shot, only to be eye-rolled by Michael, who can't believe Dwight didn't hit him when he was open. Dwight tries to take a drink and pours water up his mask, and that's certainly one for the highlight reel. Michael calls a bogus foul on himself and awards himself the shot, and all I have to say about that is that if anyone in college basketball used a ball-bouncing ritual like Michael's, no one would finish a game before graduation. And after all that, Michael's first shot goes right over the backboard. A pass from Jim flies right past Michael and into a pile of boxes. Dwight and the East German gal are about to throw down. Roy takes the ball away from Michael while Michael is doing his Harlem Globetrotters impression. Eventually, Michael calls time, and during the huddle, Jim agrees to take over guarding Roy. Dun-dun! Jim scores, and he cruises by Pam with a little "Eh?" smile, which she returns. And then Jim gets Roy's elbow in the face and gets a bloody nose. (Reportedly a real on-set accident, it could not have been planned better.) And then Jim scores, and then Jim takes the ball away from Roy, and then Jim throws Roy to the ground with his elbow. Everyone's happy about that...except Roy. Dwight steals the ball from Ryan. "Same team, Dwight," Ryan says softly. Phyllis makes a shot -- aw, Phyllis!